Every year at the Conservative Political Action Conference, flocks of angry young nerds vote on who would make the best president. Every year Mittens “Willard” Romney wins this so-called presidential straw poll, and some years he even runs for “actual” president! He has yet to win, but Republicans’ extremely rigid rules of succession dictate that he at least give it another humiliating whirl in 2012 while Bobby Jindal is groomed for greatness in 2016. MORE »