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Posts Tagged ‘oops’

HEROES OF THE BIRTHER MOVEMENT

Congresslady Jean Schmidt Secretly Agrees With The Birthers, Except This One Time By Mistake She *Publicly* Agreed With The Birthers

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009


Everyone very warmly congratulate Jean Schmidt (R-OH), who has bravely and accidentally come out as a Birther. Lo! Observe as Jean Schmidt is accosted by a rabid blond female Birther wearing some kind of decorative traditional headdress of war. “Blah blah NOT dog whistle MY muslin president Hussein sdodfgifjsd states’ rights fake something Gerald Ford something something!” shrieks the Birther to Jean Schmidt, to which the latter replies: “I agree with you, but the courts don’t.” Jean Schmidt is finally embracing the real Jean Schmidt, and so should America. [Glenn Thrush]


OOPS

Expensive, Liberal NASA Thing Blows Up Immediately

Tuesday, February 24th, 2009

Make more of thoseToday was supposed to be an exciting day for science as NASA planned to launch its “Orbiting Carbon Observatory,” a fancy new Space Machine that would study carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere and calculate the exact moment when Earth will die, from heat. The $273.4 million, 972-pound monster “carried a single three-channel spectrometer to make its detailed measurements and was slated to launch into a near-polar, sun-synchronous orbit that would fly about 438 miles (705 kilometers) above Earth.” Well, it blew up right after launch, so global warming still does not exist. MORE »


TORTURE

Judge to Bush: I Read The News

Tuesday, December 18th, 2007

Very distinguishedDon’t plan on leaving Washington this week on any skiing trips out West if you’re George Bush’s lawyer because it turns out that Christmas is your new busy season! Fresh from a blow by federal courts just yesterday, today brought another setback for President Waterboard. District Judge Henry Kennedy (of the Rhode Island Kennendys? Anyone know?) apparently ruled way back in 2005 that the Bush admin should not, you know, destroy tapes and stuff that related to prisoner (mis)treatment and guess what? For some odd reason, he thinks they might have!

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DIGG=TRUE

Shake It Off, Men

Monday, November 26th, 2007

This is one fucked-up helmet, but at least there's no blood on it. That's good, right?The Pentagon has said that 4,471 soliders sustained injuries to their brains in Iraq and Afghanistan as of September 30th. There’s just one teeny-tiny problem with that number, which is that the the Army, Navy and Department of Veterans Affairs have either seen or treated more than 20,000 soldiers for brain injuries than the Pentagon reports have been injured.

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