Tag Archives: pt old coots

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Ted Stevens Signs Ironic Hat, Appears Foolish

A ballsy Wonkette hero operative sends us a fantastic photo with this description: “I got convicted Senator Ted Stevens to sign this ‘I am VECO’ hat with a silver sharpie on election night 2008.” No, it’s not just funny because she fooled Stevens into believing that she was a supporter. Veco, for you hippie anti-corporates, was the corrupt company that bribed Ted Stevens with hundreds of thousands of dollars in gifts and money, which he forgot to report! This led to his criminal conviction on seven counts, which was followed immediately by his reelection to the United States Senate. Read more on Ted Stevens Signs Ironic Hat, Appears Foolish…
  old coots

John McLaughlin Shouts About Some Fancy Biracial Snack Food

Apparently someone on Earth still watches The McLaughlin Group and thank god for that, because old coot host John McLaughlin tends to say some pretty funny things about this Barack Obama character. A couple of months ago he interrupted Eleanor Clift’s Obama analysis and shouted “WARREN HARDING WAS A NEGRO,” which is true. While McLaughlin’s performance yesterday doesn’t quite match that, it’s still a fine piece of old coot theatrics: he rants that Obama is an “oreo,” meaning he wants to dip him in milk and eat him. And here’s a longer version in which you can view Peter Beinart’s slappy reaction. [YouTube, CNN] Read more on John McLaughlin Shouts About Some Fancy Biracial Snack Food…
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Violent Old FEMA Coot Wants To Be Famous!

Readers may remember the sad tale of Vincent Koley, the 74-year-old FEMA contractor who, while on a relief dispatch to flooded Iowa, hit some guy with his car and then beat him up with a golf club, all the while claiming that he could do as he pleased because he was “with FEMA.” Koley has denied saying that last part and says that the story is “all wrong,” except for such minor details as him hitting a guy with his car and then beating him up with golf clubs. But Koley remains in good spirits despite “all that,” because this modicum of local/Internet fame might finally get him into showbiz! Hollywood pitchers and the like! Read more on Violent Old FEMA Coot Wants To Be Famous!…
  old coots

Old FEMA Coot Beats Up Guy With Golf Club, In Iowa

So Iowa is underwater forever, and to the nation’s shock, FEMA has sent out emergency response teams — to help! This is only the second time in world history that FEMA has helped anyone, the other being the time they released that “How To Deal With Satellites That Crash Into Your Skull” manual. Perhaps they could create a follow-up manual now called “How To Deal With FEMA Emergency Contractors Who Arbitrarily Beat The Shit Out Of You With Golf Clubs, In Iowa, After Trying To Hit You With Their Cars.” Because! An Incident! Read more on Old FEMA Coot Beats Up Guy With Golf Club, In Iowa…