JAPAN’S NEW FIRST LADY IS VERY MAGICAL & SPECIAL: “While my body was asleep, I think my soul rode on a triangular-shaped UFO and went to Venus,’ Miyuki Hatoyama, the wife of premier-in-waiting Yukio Hatoyama, wrote in a book published last year. ‘It was a very beautiful place and it was really green.’” [Reuters]

Ron Paul’s new joint drops April 30, and according to Amazon.com’s pre-release figures, it’s the #1 bestselling political book already! And if you check out the product description, you might see why: “The government is expanding; Taxes are increasing; More senseless wars are being planned; Inflation is ballooning; Our basic freedoms are disappearing. The Founding Fathers didn’t want any of this.” Whaaa? Mine eyes have been opened! Damn high school history teachers, always going on about how George Washington loved inflation. [Amazon]