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  oh my god

Buying ‘Hardware Stuff’: Day One of the Press’ 24-Hour Surveillance of Mitt Romney

It’s a fresh, hellishly dystopian day for Mitt Romney and Co., collectively referred to as “Boston.” Until now, the press could only cover our fair non-incumbent at scheduled events or when summoned to transcribe amateurish spin. Starting today, a small herd of nosey scribes known as the “protective press pool” will follow Romney wherever he goes, always, until the end of time, but probably just until November. What is a day in the life of a Mitt like? We’ll never know. But we do now have some sense of what a pretend day in the life of a Mitt is like. He does simple-folk things, like run errands to the grocery and hardware stores. His advisers surely gave him a thorough briefing on what one is supposed to do at these retail institutions, because he nailed it: At the hardware store, for example, he exchanged United States legal tender for market goods and services he described as “hardware stuff” — just as he was told to do, and in the terse lingo of the proletariat. Read more on Buying ‘Hardware Stuff’: Day One of the Press’ 24-Hour Surveillance of Mitt Romney…
  oh my god

Rick Santorum Calls Out Obama For Daughter’s Mexican Vacation

Did you hear that President Obama allowed his daughter to go to Mexico with 12 friends and 25 Secret Service agents? Our friends on the right end of the political spectrum have been calling it poor leadership for the First Parents to send their child to Deathly Mexico after the State Department recently issued a travel warning for certain parts of the country (that don’t include Oaxaca, where Malia was visiting). At least this is the angle — “hypocrisy,” a bullshitter’s best argument-friend — they’re basically using it as an excuse to call the Obama family jet-setting spendthrifts. And now classy piglet Rick Santorum, who is actually wading into this story about the President’s daughter, is calling Obama a bad father/president who is setting a bad example. Sweet jiminy Christ burgers. Read more on Rick Santorum Calls Out Obama For Daughter’s Mexican Vacation…
  oh my god

NYC Baker Makes Hilarious ‘Drunken Negro Head’ Cookies For Obama

“[The bakery owner] says the [Drunken Negro] cookies are a caricature, and a work of art. He says no one got upset about the DEAD GEESE BREAD he baked after the recent plane crash. …The bakery owner says he’s not prejudiced. ‘My brother-in law, he’s Cuban. So, you know, I like everybody.'” This is probably the best video on the Internet, right now. [Gothamist via Gawker] Read more on NYC Baker Makes Hilarious ‘Drunken Negro Head’ Cookies For Obama…