• HEY GAYS, HERE’S A ‘BIG VICTORY’ FOR YOU: HA: “WASHINGTON — An administration official says President Barack Obama plans to nominate an openly gay lawyer as the United States’ ambassador to New Zealand and American Samoa.” Ooh, big important job there! Even George W. Bush’s first openly gay ambassador appointee was for Romania, which is somehow gutsier. They have so many homophobic vampires there, just really dangerous. [AP]

Who cares about anything Fox News actor Glenn Beck says or does about anything — he’s really not worth getting so worked up about on a daily basis, tipsters! — and god knows why Katie Couric is interviewing him… but this is a pretty funny three minutes of television. Katie asks, “what do you mean by ‘white culture,’” because apparently Glenn Beck said something about “white culture” recently on his stupid meaningless show that no one should watch or care about in any way, and Glenn Beck just gives her weird sly looks and says, uh, he will not help her? With her show? Anyway, Glenn Beck! He’s so wacky! BUT IS HE BAD FOR AMERICA?? [Think Progress]

New information has arisen concerning former mid/lower-level no-name douchey excerpt-mongering George W. Bush speechwriter, the very smart conservative person Matt Latimer! Last week we examined the useless, exploitative heap of self-preserving, unconfirmable anecdotes he passed along to GQ to publicize the release of his douchey tell-all piece of crap book, Speechless, which chronicles the Bush Administration’s greatest failure of all: tainting this wide-eyed Michigan conservative’s idealism, with its embrace of PETTY WASHINGTON POLITICS! Poor Matt! We hope this shittily written after-the-fact account of nothing makes a lot of money for him; he’s suffered enough, having to work (= eavesdrop on private conversations) at that STUPID Bush White House for like two days… Anyway, that new information: so the guy who hired this punk at the White House has written an op-ed for the Wall Street Journal slamming Latimer and more or less calling him gay for Donald Rumsfeld. MORE »

You may have seen on the Internets this morning various excerpts from what appears to be GQ’s answer to Vanity Fair’s Levi Johnston article, in terms of the great “which major New York magazine can publish the weirdest and least fact-checkable 10-page fart of targeted-readership porn” journalism wars. “Matt Latimer,” a late-term speechwriter for George W. Bush, has written a snippy sack of anecdotes from his time in/near the White House during the 2008 presidential race, the Wall Street collapse, etc etc. It could have been an interesting read, but here’s the problem: it’s not. It is one of the shittiest pieces of writing, ever, or at least since Uncle Tom’s Cabin. Did you know that not a single person in the White House knew anything about anything except for smug mid-level stenographer “Matt Latimer,” according to Matt Latimer? MORE »

MARK FOLEY HAS A RADIO SHOW! YOU REMEMBER MARK FOLEY YES? Former Republican congressman and young male page-stroker Mark Foley has a new job, in this economy! Beginning September 22nd he will host his very own radio show out of North Palm Beach, Florida, called “Inside the Mind of Mark Foley.” So there’s that. [TPM]

This guy. Here he is at the 2009 “RightOnline” conference, which took place in Hell over the past weekend. In Joe’s speech, he said that his “size twelves” ensure the edumacation of his children. He stomps on his kids when they get bad grades! He also told an AlterNet reporter that back in the day, when he would run across the likes of Nancy Pelosi, “Those kind of people I usually took behind the woodshed and just beat the livin’ tar out of ‘em.” What an unlikely success story! And this concludes your update on Joe the Plumber. [YouTube, Think Progress, AlterNet]

O Holy Day, look what just dropped in ye olde “Wonkett” tips box! Cougs is back for more: “Will you follow this link to sign the birthday card? There’s even a special space to leave a personal message of encouragement for John. After you’ve signed the card, I hope you’ll make a generous contribution to John’s reelection campaign, so he can continue his service to our country.” We will do one of these things! MORE »

It was hard to choose which of the 750 million clips of Rudy Giuliani — the only mayor in American history to have his city’s most prominent buildings decimated by hijacked airplanes — offering his expert opinion on health care reform, on every network, to post here, but let’s go with the liberal MSNBC! (On Fox News, he is literally cackling over the concept of poor or middle-class people having health care.) He says that people have cars and teevees and homes but not health care. People need choices in America! It’s unAmerican otherwise. Jesus. Someone please dump this snarling tumor in a Bronx trash can already. [YouTube]

Former federal prosecutor and current National Review smart person Andy McCarthy has a number of interesting political opinions about such things as Barack Obama’s memoir, Barack Obama’s attitude towards Iran, and the Uighurs. Now he has a new interesting political opinion about Barack Obama’s first pitch at the Baseball All-Star Game Tuesday night. What does he have to say? MORE »

George Will is dying right now. The president is sitting on a pile of trash, basically. And is the fellow on the left wearing dungarees and flip flops? Can we get a column on flip flops, George Will? Close those legs, Obama. [Pete Souza/White House]

Oh golly, a coterie of unpaid Hill interns has discovered a pair of famous Movie Stars walking around our Washington D.C.! Everyone loves the Movies, right? Well let’s share a Hill intern’s e-mail about famous liberals Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie having a sexy threesome with Nancy Pelosi today, and maybe some of you can send in pictures, or whatever it is one sends to a blog. (Pornography.) MORE »