pt not afraid to be servicey

Today we at Wonkette received a very important question that was very stupidly sent to our tipline, to which we can’t actually reply as it is anonymized, so we figured instead of responding to the asker, which we can’t, we would respond to all of you. That question is, “How do I cancel my subscription?” […]

Are you enjoying your slow news week? You should. The last time we complained about a news day being slow, Newtown happened, and we haven’t complained about a slow news day since. Here are some lovely longreads, dropped simultaneously by outlets that apparently have a well of shit at the ready to run on slow […]

Is your mom this old lady? No, because your mom is not a professor emerita of English. Your mom is, however, ungrateful and ungracious. MOMS! SO COMPLICATED! Is New Pope rocking your world? Is Pope Francis going to be the next John XXIII? (Gonna go with yes, and also “callllled ittttt.”)

Mass shootings! It is like, they are everywhere, lol! And when someone comes at you with 14 guns and 5,000 rounds of ammunition right after they got out of prison for murdering their wife and inlaws, because seeing if someone is a law abiding citizen before selling them weapons discriminates against people who are law […]

Congrats, Amercia, Mitt Romney picked a VP, and it is Paul Ryan. Of course, dear reader, you are probably already aware of the fact that you loathe Paul Ryan but are unsure about why, exactly. This might leave you confused, and possibly angry. Do you hate him because of his smug countenance,  you wonder? Or […]

There is a movie out, people say it is very good, it has Channing Tatum in it and whatnot, maybe we will see it, that’s cool. That is not really “political,” we guess, but there is nothing on the entire Internet today, like, “jobs report” REALLY? Romney being pro-vacation? Blah blah blah boring thing? Well, […]

Wonkette, as everyone knows, is read exclusively by sozzled homelesses and retirees. But your long national nightmare might be over, hobos! Charles Krauthammer needs a researcher, and if you send him a missive filled with stern-sounding nonsense, maybe that researcher will be you!! Who wouldn’t want to go to work each morning for a man […]

We all have our favorite news and information sources, so why should we be surprised when followers of al-Qaeda have one too? Meet Inspire, the slick, glossy mag created by American citizen (and former cheerleader) Samir Khan and featured columnist and American citizen, Anwar al-Awlaki. Since 2010, Inspire has been thick with, well, inspiring articles such […]