YOUR OBESE BRAIN IS NOT VERY ATTRACTIVE: Ignore our remarks about bacon, stop eating raw cookie dough, and get on John Mackey’s nutrient-dense, organic dick-bag diet: obese people have “severe brain degeneration.” Obese people’s brains are not only withered and weird; they also look older, so if you are at all vain about your brain’s appearance you will definitely not want to become obese. [LiveScience]

The star of President Obama’s big announcement yesterday was, as usual, his teleprompters, which obscured the view of his (fairly short?) Supreme Court nominee. Then they shot mind-rays into her brain and finally consumed her. What will this Sotomayor character do when she’s on the Court and cannot use the teleprompters to help her write her opinions, HMMM???? [Alex Conant, MSNBC]

JESUS CHRIST, CANADA. Wonkette Loonie operative “David” writes that where he lives, in Canada, “The Representative of Her Majesty the Queen has raised the profile of the Monarchy in Canada by grabbing the beating heart out of a baby seal and eating live on camera.” It’s true, she really does — it’s in the newspapers! MORE »

Oh, this is just delightful. [BBC World News via Live Leak]