June 20, 2013
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Have any of our Wonkette readers ever been to a Foreign Country? Haha, oh my heck, no, of course not! All Godjesus-worshipping Americans know that all other countries are full of squalor and general brown-ness and should only be visited for the purposes of converting their heathen denizens to the one true religion of American [...]
What’s in your anusburger, Oklahoma, besides cow rectums, sawdust and glue? It can be hard to tell! Have you ever, as a result, worried to yourself, what if there are also ground up aborted human fetuses in here and I don’t even realize it? Oklahoma state Senator Ralph Shortey — his real name! — worries [...]
Barack Obama is on vacation in Hawaii, where he is sampling the taste of the local infants. It’s sort of cute, until you realize this child is probably already halfway to Gitmo. [YouTube]
The star of President Obama’s big announcement yesterday was, as usual, his teleprompters, which obscured the view of his (fairly short?) Supreme Court nominee. Then they shot mind-rays into her brain and finally consumed her. What will this Sotomayor character do when she’s on the Court and cannot use the teleprompters to help her write [...]
JESUS CHRIST, CANADA. Wonkette Loonie operative “David” writes that where he lives, in Canada, “The Representative of Her Majesty the Queen has raised the profile of the Monarchy in Canada by grabbing the beating heart out of a baby seal and eating live on camera.” It’s true, she really does — it’s in the newspapers!
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