Kim Capello, the married heterosexual male county commissioner from Nowheresville, Michigan, electrified the Republican party this spring when police allegedly caught him having naked sex with an adult lady, in public. “I was in the wrong place at the wrong time,” he later told reporters, in a clear show of remorse for not having been caught in a fur suit soliciting sex from teenage boys. MORE »

GOP “moderates” are ecstatic over the news that some nobody Republican commissioner in some no-name Michigan suburb was caught drunkenly boning some gal on a sidewalk, at 2 a.m. The dude, for some reason named “Kim Capello,” was arrested after the police got calls about some naked people fucking in public. The woman being fucked was not the dude’s wife — it appears she wasn’t arrested, so maybe she was just killed at the scene, by the cops? Probably. And now the dude, “Kim,” may go to jail for 93 days. MORE »