pt never forget

Feeling a bit low this Thanksgiving? A bit like something is just…missing? Could be because you have been waiting, longing, for Wonkette’s sort-of-annual Thanksgiving tradition. As a parade is to Macy’s, Sarah Palin’s interview-cum-turkey-slaughter-horror-show is to Wonkette. And really, what news story is more Wonkette-ish than Sarah Palin yammering on obliviously as turkeys are ground […]

Feeling a bit low this Thanksgiving? A bit like something is just…missing? Likely this is because Wonkette has neglected our sort-of-annual Thanksgiving tradition. As a parade is to Macy’s, Sarah Palin’s interview-cum-turkey-slaughter-horror-show is to Wonkette. And really, what news story is more Wonkette-ish than Sarah Palin yammering on obliviously as turkeys are ground to bits […]

It is bad enough being a powerless Democratic House representative having to watch orange Juggalo John Boehner strut the halls of Congress every day with a trail of Chiclet-toothed goobers sniveling in his wake every single day, as part of your job. You would be sad. It would be terrible. But today, even more sadly […]

Back when California used to have the nation’s top public schools (instead of the worst) and biggest state park system (instead of locked-gate meth-lab forests) along with lots of good-paying jobs and an entire population of fit, beautiful, tattoo-free people who spent all their time at the uncrowded beaches talking about philosophy or whatever, the […]

Aw, Sasha and Malia Obama looked sort of annoyed and bored, like the rest of America, during their dad’s ritual Thanksgiving lecture explaining how it would be impossible for him to do so much as rescue a single freaking turkey from death were this subject to a vote from Congress, even to save “Liberty” and […]

Texas is facing a few challenges right now — incredible plagues of drought and fire and horror that could make even a liberal yankee atheist wonder if an Old Testament God had been awakened from its watery grave deep beneath the Gulf of Mexico. But narratives don’t exactly change overnight, which is why some school […]

We are getting late word tonight that Netflix Streaming is totally not working along much of the East Coast, due to terrorism (Hurricane Irene). Former Wonkette special guest editor Jason Linkins reports that it’s broken in D.C., at least on his Twitter friend’s teevee somewhere. And where’s Obama, probably golfing from a yacht over Arlington […]

Do you remember the world before every day’s news was quickly animated into some ironic nonsense by computer artists in Taiwan working for a Murdoch-style tabloid/sleaze media empire in Asia? Do you have even faint memories of your own existence before YouTube? Well, former CIA contractor/anti-Soviet mujaheddin leader Osama bin Laden lived most of his […]

The other day we hit 911 posts on Twitter, which is a magickal number used to call the police when your neighbors are on the crack again at 4 o’clock in the morning and also the infamous/dreadful day when America officially began its self-fulfilling prophecy to topple like a stupid bloated giant full of ass-cancer […]

Wonkette operative “Dewey” sends this important photograph from the communist stronghold of “Nagoya, Japan,” where insurgents have apparently stolen America’s Secret Weapon For Freedom, the Eagle with frickin’ lasers for eyes. Will North Korea get hold of this crucial defense system? Why did we give it to Japan, anyway? Oh, it’s actually an advertisement for […]

NEVER FORGET  6:04 pm February 3, 2010

So, How Much Did This Cost?

by Jim Newell

Some person who “knows stuff like this” breaks down Carly Fiorina’s Laser-eyed Sheep Furry Of Death From Hell comedy film for FishbowlLA: “Wow…they did shoot all of that sheep stuff. It wasn’t stock footage. Paid crew for the sheep stuff and an editor for two days worth of cutting that stuff, titling, paid crew, equipment […]

Remember the unnamed party crasher who imperiled the planet by breaching White House security and entering a state dinner while smuggling genitals in his underwear? He has a name! Carlos Allen publishes and owns Hush magazine, a publication we have never heard of, and he has been interrogated several times by the Secret Service in […]

Not since the Grinch stole Jesus’ Birthday from the tiny hydrocephalic aliens of Whoville has a figure of evil so blatantly tried to fuck a precious holiday to death: Barack Obama wants to make September 11 some kind of evil, patriotic day of remembering the terrorist attacks by doing something for America. It is exactly […]

The last thing your editor saw online Thursday morning was a Facebook update from Gawker Media boss Nick Denton — something about how his websites were getting these “Denial of Service” attacks, and also how Twitter was being attacked by computer monsters. Twitter! Ha ha, who would miss that?

Having successfully completed a hilarious stack of FAIL on Tax Day, the Teabagging Cultists will next flap their testicles against the mouth of 9/11, our nation’s most holy day of remembrance. Just six months or so from right now, the fantastic teabagging momentum will strike again, as America sheds its tears over the anniversary of […]