Tag: pt never forget

Now that's presidential.

Here Is Your Annual Thanksgiving Sarah Palin Turkey Day Massacre, For ‘Tradition’

Feeling a bit low this Thanksgiving? A bit like something is just...missing? Could be because you have been waiting, longing, for Wonkette's sort-of-annual Thanksgiving tradition. As a parade is to Macy's, Sarah Palin's interview-cum-turkey-slaughter-horror-show is to Wonkette. And really,...
To be fair, he looks pretty safe there

Never Forget (Except For The Stuff They Wish We’d Forget, Go Ahead And Forget That Stuff)

What is it we're supposed to never forget again? George W. Bush, August 6, 2001: Bush listened to the briefing , Suskind says, then told the CIA briefer: “All right. You’ve covered your ass, now.” George W. Bush, March 13, 2002: just...

Oh, Yes, We Have The Palin Turkey Massacre Again, Because ‘Tradition’

Feeling a bit low this Thanksgiving? A bit like something is just...missing? Could be because you have been waiting, longing, for Wonkette's sort-of-annual Thanksgiving tradition. As a parade is to Macy's, Sarah Palin's interview-cum-turkey-slaughter-horror-show is to Wonkette. And really,...

Watch the Palin Turkey Massacre Again, Because ‘Tradition’

Feeling a bit low this Thanksgiving? A bit like something is just...missing? Likely this is because Wonkette has neglected our sort-of-annual Thanksgiving tradition. As a parade is to Macy's, Sarah Palin's interview-cum-turkey-slaughter-horror-show is to Wonkette. And really, what news...

Congressional Staffers Foolishly Drink and Tweet Their Jobs Away, On the Job

It is bad enough being a powerless Democratic House representative having to watch orange Juggalo John Boehner strut the halls of Congress every day with a trail of Chiclet-toothed goobers sniveling in his wake every single day, as part...

California Destroyed By Blustery Day

Back when California used to have the nation's top public schools (instead of the worst) and biggest state park system (instead of locked-gate meth-lab forests) along with lots of good-paying jobs and an entire population of fit, beautiful, tattoo-free...

Obama Celebrates Thanksgiving By Reminding America of Its Dysfunction

Aw, Sasha and Malia Obama looked sort of annoyed and bored, like the rest of America, during their dad's ritual Thanksgiving lecture explaining how it would be impossible for him to do so much as rescue a single freaking...

Texas High School Catches Al Jazeera Terrorist Asking People About 9/11

Texas is facing a few challenges right now -- incredible plagues of drought and fire and horror that could make even a liberal yankee atheist wonder if an Old Testament God had been awakened from its watery grave deep...

Irene Devastation: Netflix Streaming Apparently Out For Whole East Coast

We are getting late word tonight that Netflix Streaming is totally not working along much of the East Coast, due to terrorism (Hurricane Irene). Former Wonkette special guest editor Jason Linkins reports that it's broken in D.C., at least...

America’s Murder of 54-Year-Old Terror Suspect Celebrated In Taiwanese Web Cartoon

Do you remember the world before every day's news was quickly animated into some ironic nonsense by computer artists in Taiwan working for a Murdoch-style tabloid/sleaze media empire in Asia? Do you have even faint memories of your own...

Wonkette’s Tragic Use of Twitter

The other day we hit 911 posts on Twitter, which is a magickal number used to call the police when your neighbors are on the crack again at 4 o'clock in the morning and also the infamous/dreadful day when...

Have the Japanese Stolen America’s Laser Eagle?

Wonkette operative "Dewey" sends this important photograph from the communist stronghold of "Nagoya, Japan," where insurgents have apparently stolen America's Secret Weapon For Freedom, the Eagle with frickin' lasers for eyes. Will North Korea get hold of this crucial...

So, How Much Did This Cost?

Some person who "knows stuff like this" breaks down Carly Fiorina's Laser-eyed Sheep Furry Of Death From Hell comedy film for FishbowlLA: "Wow...they did shoot all of that sheep stuff. It wasn't stock footage. Paid crew for the sheep...

Third ‘Indian Food Night At The White House’ Party Crasher Identified!

Remember the unnamed party crasher who imperiled the planet by breaching White House security and entering a state dinner while smuggling genitals in his underwear? He has a name! Carlos Allen publishes and owns Hush magazine, a publication we...

Will Obama Steal 9/11 From Wingnut Death-Porn Arab Haters?

Not since the Grinch stole Jesus' Birthday from the tiny hydrocephalic aliens of Whoville has a figure of evil so blatantly tried to fuck a precious holiday to death: Barack Obama wants to make September 11 some kind of...

Where Were You During the Great Blog Attacks of 2009?

The last thing your editor saw online Thursday morning was a Facebook update from Gawker Media boss Nick Denton -- something about how his websites were getting these "Denial of Service" attacks, and also how Twitter was being attacked...