IT’S RAW DEMOCRACY! RAW, FLESH-BURNING DEMOCRACY: “BLAIRS - In a move sure to spark controversy, the Danville TEA Party will close their ‘Fired Up for Freedom’ rally by burning Rep. Tom Perriello and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi in effigy in response to the passage of landmark healthcare legislation in the U.S. House of Representatives.” The Danville TEAParty — get the spelling right, local newspaper! — has a delightful forum on its website, too, if you feel like stopping by… [WPCVA via ThinkProgress, Danville TEAParty]

Ah, very true. It’s the only logical conclusion, that President Barack Obama wanting to pass moderate bills incentivizing environmental responsibility (and maybe creating new jobs in the process) and providing basic health insurance to 30-40 million Americans makes him just like those 9/11 hijackers, and it’s time to bumrush the cockpit and crash his Kenyan ass into the quaint Pennsylvania countryside, before he gets to Bush Junior. Colorado State Sen. Dave Schultheis meets Twitter, everyone. MORE »

FUCK YEAH GET AMP’D! BUSINESS! MAKING BILLS, A FORM OF AMERICAN CURRENCY! MORE »

Maybe.

WRITE YOUR OWN POLITICAL ANGLE: “RICHFIELD (WKOW) — Police say a South Milwaukee man drank at least 10 beers at a golf course on state Highway 167, and after being left behind by the relatives who brought him there, he decided to drive himself the nearly 40 miles back to his home…in a golf cart. He did not even take the time to throw the empty beer cans out of the cart before hitting the road in the commandeered cart … The man told Deputy Andrew Meier that he was driving back to South Milwaukee after a group of ‘uncles’ abandoned him at Kettle Hills Golf Course on Highway 167.” [WKOW]

Oh look, it’s America, the nation of 11-year-old fat kids who lack the intellectual capacity to process anything beyond comic books. Have you heard about the greatest work of cinematic art in history, 300 Explosions With Batman and Joker? It’s the most “mature” of this year’s crop of 500 fucking movies about comic books, according to Critics who haven’t seen a film made for grownups since about 1978, when the last ones were produced. MORE »

The mobile-home hobbits were very busy over the weekend, so we got about 5,000 versions of the latest NOBAMA spam this weekend, invariably sent from AOL addresses. Somebody is VERY confused!!?? about a few things, and we better send this to all our friends. MORE »

You’ve been waiting for it all day, and here it is: your “Tuesday Fun Link.” Today’s link directs you to “Boycott McDonald’s,” an effort from some terrible thing called the American Family Association. Naturally, these people are not boycotting McDonald’s because they are starting diets — on the contrary, we assume they are all fat fucks who continue to patronize the likes of Wendy’s, Burger King, and “Sonic” on a daily basis. They are boycotting McDonald’s because of this: “It is about McDonald’s, as a corporation, refusing to remain neutral in the culture wars. McDonald’s has chosen not to remain neutral but to give the full weight of their corporation to promoting the homosexual agenda, including homosexual marriage.” And GUESS WHAT? This website has a comments section!! MORE »

It’s summertime and the living is terrible.

Would you enjoy a Top Ten List of all the apocalyptic current events proving this is the End of America and probably The World? We thought you’d like that, you elitist doom-porn scumsacks. MORE »

Rep. John Hall (Dirty Hippie, NY) became a congressman in 2006, when even a naked “soft rock” hippie seemed less dangerous than Mark Foley or Don Sherwood or John Sweeney. Problem is, hippiez r dum! Hall is now sending official congressional spam about the alleged Bush Administration plot to stop solar energy so the Oil Corporates can continue to rule the Earth. Are American enviro-leftists as gullible as the “God DAMN Muslim O’bama’s Christian Church” crowd? Let’s find out! MORE »

Wonkette email operative “Bob,” like many Americans, has received an email claiming that Obama is a Muslim, a.k.a. Not American. These patriotic emails are the only way to stop the Obama Conspiracy that threatens to Blackify our government. But Bob, most likely a Liberal, was not so sure he wanted to accept the email as truth, so he replied to the sender that Obama is not a Muslim, and if he were a Muslim that would be acceptable. For this, Bob received the reply, “whatever, he’s not american, white or black……” Despite the authoritative double ellipsis, “Arugula Bob” still couldn’t understand. And that prompted a longer response from the Smearer to Bob, which we have copy-pasted below the jump. MORE »