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  narrow escapes

Space Lizard Gods Didn’t Get Eric Cantor or His Nuke Reactor This Time…

Our latest sources say terrible whiny loser Eric Cantor was apparently the actual target of the  5.9 5.8-magnitude earthquake the reptile gods of space launched at the East Coast today, because the epicenter of the quake was smack in the middle of Eric Cantor’s seventh congressional district in Virginia. Sorry, angry cosmic overlords, huge whiff: Eric Cantor is leading a wingnut field trip in Israel. TRY A GIANT COMET NEXT TIME. OR, just a slightly stronger earthquake: the North Anna nuclear power station in the middle of Cantor’s district is only built to withstand a 5.9-6.1 magnitude earthquake and has no seismographs, because they were all removed after budget cuts. And it’s built on a fault line! AAAAAAHHHH! It’s almost like we’re better at this than space lizards! Read more on Space Lizard Gods Didn’t Get Eric Cantor or His Nuke Reactor This Time……