Operative “Sam G.” sends us this gritty look at his “political Halloween costume,” of the popular Internet picture that launched 1,000 ships. His Internet friends will get it! If you like the idea of dressing as a wingnut Internet picture, this is your year! MORE »

Now the Muslin youths are associating with each other and everything! This shocking revelation comes along with news that a British royal said something racist once (?!?!?!). Thank you to Wonkette operative Sandra for the tip. [AP]

Of course, Virginia has a distinguished history of being run by morans. [WTOP]

K-LOAD: Mouth-breathing fart-sack Kathryn Jean Lopez has posted a confusing new Word Jumble, in which she claims that Prop. 8, the Mormons’ financial assault on California homosexuals, “won by the same margin as Barack Obama did in that state.” Obama crushed McCain 61%-37% in California, while Prop. 8 squeaked by with 52%. [Andrew Sullivan]

After a week of witty meditations on Barack Obama’s America-hating friends and asking, “Who is this guy who has been running for president for two years who everybody knows pretty well after seeing him in nearly 30 debates? Did you know some crook sold him a strip of lawn once?” Sarah Palin has BLINKED and decided to stop calling the Democratic nominee a terrorist. Why? Because no one in the McCain campaign can use the same argument for more than a week. It’s all right there in the Maverick Handbook! Right next to the “no blinking” rule! MORE »

Shortly after this photograph was taken, the gentleman on the right was offered the Republican nomination for vice president. He turned it down to go run Lehman Brothers instead. Thanks to Brian for sending this along.

…which is why they are so obsessed with these matters of grave national importance. Thanks to Wonkette Operative Brian for bringing this to our attention.
[Washington Post/CNN]

Here’s your latest “Miss USA,” falling on her ass during the Miss USA Show, just like the last Miss USA, who fell on her ass last year. But this one starts seal-clapping for herself after tumbling, which is kind of … repugnant? She was taken out back and executed immediately after the program. [News.com.au/AFP]

Thomas Jefferson invented July 4, by writing the Declaration of Independence for “Independence Day,” and later writing the Constitution, and then patriotically dropping dead on July 4. This is why George W. Bush went to Jefferson’s famous slave brothel, Monticello, to read a July 4 speech that quoted Jefferson except for the part of the quote where Jefferson said Christians were idiots. MORE »

Our pretend buddy and former colleague Will Leitch left the sports blog Deadspin last week. As he invented that popular website and has a reputation for being an agreeable human being — rare for the Internet — we were interested in his parting words. Here are some of them. MORE »

Oil hit a new record price today, hooray! It briefly touched $146.23 a barrel before settling down to the much more normal price of, er, $145.85. A gallon of gasoline is averaging $4.09 in the patriotic United States — with D.C. at $4.16, New York at $4.30 and West Coast prices over $4.50. Why do they keep going up, up, up? Because some goddamned Christians are showing up at gas stations and praying, that’s why. MORE »