Jesus, who can even keep track of the idiots these days? There was that one, the new conservative sweetheart soft-porn boob-job-having local-yokel beauty queen, on the teevee, and Perez Hilton got her to say the queers can’t get married cuz Jebus hates homos, and then the nekkid pictures were revealed, and World Net Daily anointed her as the Holy Whore of Gay Bashing, and Donald Trump went bankrupt or something, and then Carrie Prejean finally got fired for “contract violations,” the end, we hope. [CNN/Perez Hilton]

Those who listen to the elitist Chicago street organizer public-radio program Wait Wait … Don’t Tell Me got a special treat this weekend, as Barack Obama’s personal Rasputin, David Axelrod, appeared on the show to describe how much this Socialist White House hates our nation’s fake-breasted gay-hating soft-porn models. [NewsPoliticsNews/NPR]

You know why we have not written about this too much? Because number one, who gives a flying fuck what Miss California thinks about political “things.” And number two, any beauty pageant contestant who doesn’t have a boatload of topless photos in her closet is just not trying hard enough. Anyway Donald Trump, the owner of the Miss USA and the world’s wealthiest muskrat, determined that Carrie Prejean’s hawt pre-boob-job photos did not diminish her ability to attend ribbon-cuttings at county fairs and other important Miss California-related events. It is a sad day when Donald Trump is the sanest man on television. [USA Today]

BEAUTY PAGEANT POLITICS: “During an appearance last week with MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann, Michael Musto jested that Miss California officials also paid for Carrie Prejean to ‘cut off her penis’ and likened her to Klaus Barbie, a Nazi war criminal believed to be responsible for up to 4,000 deaths.” [Fox News]

• MEANWHILE IN STATE LEGISLATIVE NEWS: “MONTGOMERY, Ala. (AP) — A resolution has been introduced in the Alabama House that praises Miss USA contestant [Miss California] Carrie Prejean for speaking out against gay marriage during Sunday night’s televised pageant.” Man, it’s been an uphill climb for Alabama ever since slavery ended, huh? [WHNT]