Tag: pt metro section

"Justin’s Café opened last year, just a few blocks from Nationals Park. They opened up shop at 1025 First Street SE with a fine...

While you were at home stuffing turkey into your tongue cave with a fork lift, DEA agents and Navy SEALs were napalming the dickens...

Columbia Heights: Where white hipsters can watch from a comfortable distance as low-income minorities are murdered. This is what scholars call the "two cities"...

Remember when you flushed your dead goldfish down the toilet and felt a little guilty because what if the goldfish clogs the pipes? Yes....

Knock-knock! Ezra Klein, are you there? So. There is sexual predator that rides the same bus as you. He knows your name. He likes...

You network? We should network sometime. Let's network. Let's exchange business cards. Faxes. Telegrams. Beepers. E-mail signatures. STDs. Need to network. Need. To. Network....

What would happen if you joined the Marines and then were sent to Okinawa to play with radios but then got bored and pretended...

A shrimp and some crab soup tried to MURDER Marion Barry! A futile assassination attempt. Marion Barry is not afraid of sea creatures, cooked...

Before you appear on a reality tee-vee program, make sure to read the STD clause in your release very carefully. Very very carefully. Because...

What do you call 229 teachers in DC? "Fired." Hey, remember The Great War? No? Well, five million dollars says you will. It's nice...

The Capital Yacht Club is a great place to set anchor while you dump a female corpse into the Washington Channel. The...

Never steal a samurai's Xbox. Because he will Seppuku you, with his samurai sword... that he ordered from SkyMall... while studying electrical engineering at...

A local politician who is not Marion Barry claims DC will be invaded by "same-sex marriage" in the very near future. The last time...

Summer. It's over, and not even Bryan Adams can make it sound sexy (you might have bought that six-string at the five-and-dime, but MJ...

First Chandra Levy. Then killah bees. Now this. What could possibly make Rock Creek Park more murderous and cruel? Suggestion: unmarked mine fields. ...

Who twitters for Metro? Tolstoy? You cannot write long-winded descriptions of the Great Steppe of Russia, where the peasants are honest and work with...

Wonkette Primary! Vote!


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