Aren’t you glad George Allen lost his senate seat for calling Jim Webb’s Indian guy a Tunisian monkey in Italian or something? Yes, Macaca George was a racist dingbat in love with a prop football and slavery, but he wasn’t a heavily armed lunatic.

The emerging and evolving story of Webb’s aide being arrested and jailed for trying to sneak a loaded handgun and tons of ammo into the Russell Senate Office building is starting to sound like a hilarious outtake from “Pulp Fiction.” Yesterday we learned that Webb and his ninja gunmen had sacks of weapons when they showed up at National airport, so Webb was forced to leave his guns with the staffers for his flight to Beirut or wherever, and then there were guns everywhere and nobody was keeping track and next thing you know this former Marine has put one of Webb’s loaded semi-automatic pistols (or maybe even a Micro Uzi) in a briefcase — along with two fully loaded extra magazines — through the X-Ray machine and the Capitol cops lock him up.

Read Webb’s delusional Conrad Burns-esque excuses, after the jump.

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Just a few months ago, ex-Senator George Allen’s love for the Confederacy and outrageous racism seemed almost quaint. Macaca was like a bridge to the mid-19th Century … with Robert Byrd standing on the other shore, resplendent in his Exalted Cyclops dunce cap and flowing robes.

But the KKK is back and better than ever! Learn how an old worn-out racist movement can “re-brand” itself for a New Era in which the main threat to white Americans is a Mexican guy picking strawberries for $5 an hour … after the jump.

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While we lost the “Most Humorous Weblog” nomination to, uh, Gizmodo, we are honored to be nominated for “best weblog about the politics.” Every year through some mysterious process, people choose these nominees for the annual gala Bloggies event, which is held in outer space.

Here’s how it works: You go to this site and vote for us. You can vote for other categories, too. (We don’t care.) But it’s really complicated, so we’ll give you very specific instructions, after the jump.

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The other day, Virginia state delegate Frank Hargrove upset a couple thin-skinned liberals by telling black people that slavery wasn’t so bad and that they should just get over it. Hargrove, to his credit, quickly realized his error — he’d only directly offended one ethnic group. He made up for that yesterday. MORE »

Relax, everybody! That stench in the nation’s air is just a natural annual response to the anniversary of Richard Milhouse Nixon’s glorious birth.

RMN was unscrewed from his poor mother’s womb on this day in Nineteen Hundred and Thirteen. Join us after the jump for a fascinating look at this horrible little man who would be known as America’s Worst President if not for the grace of George W. Bush.

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* Matt Damon wants to do things to Dick Cheney that Jason Bourne hasn’t even heard of. News Busters]
* James Baker grabs ass and ankles for Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, hilarious historically poignant metaphor ensues. [YouTube]
* Macaca: man of the year. [Salon]
* Soldiers choose John Kerry’s wind-bagging over peeling potatoes, learn hard lesson about regret. [Blackfive]
* Iraq:Afghanistan::War on Christmas:War on Hanukkah. [Radosh]
* Ari Fleischer wants to be a congressman. [Political Wire]
* Damn the man! Save the interwebz! [YouTube]

A loopy Jesus Freak who lost a Minnesota state senate race graciously conceded by demanding the Hindu winner convert to Christianity.

Instead of the customary phone call, Rae Hart Anderson sent State Senator Satveer Chaudhary an e-mail. We know, classy! Better yet, the e-mail’s all about how winning elections is nothing compared to being a loopy Jesus Freak who got 36% of the vote. We’ve got the e-mail Christ Himself wants you to read, after the jump.

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* Heard on the Hill The true story of how S.R. “Macaca” Sidarth ended up with the Webb campaign… Steny Hoyer is a great-grandfather. Jeez… Ken Mehlman jokingly threatened to ritually mutilate George Allen’s genitals in a bizarre religious ceremony. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Which election winners will be good for gossip, which losers we’ll be sad to see leave, plus gratuitous mention of our stepmom. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Nancy Pelosi pretends to care about the House Dem’s “30-Something Working Group,” which is allowed to talk on the House floor only at night when all the grownups have gone home… Wm & Mary college Repubs list ways to get over election results. Number one: cry softly… After conceding the election, George Allen went on the radio to predict a victory for a Washington football club that was killed 27-3 by the Eagles… Only one of Y&N’s “hottest” candidates won. [Examiner]
* Rush and Molloy: Bush jokes play great in Qatar. [NYDN]

Not really. But in a strangely stilted op-ed for the Washington Post, Sidarth says: MORE »