Just a few months ago, ex-Senator George Allen’s love for the Confederacy and outrageous racism seemed almost quaint. Macaca was like a bridge to the mid-19th Century … with Robert Byrd standing on the other shore, resplendent in his Exalted Cyclops dunce cap and flowing robes.

But the KKK is back and better than ever! Learn how an old worn-out racist movement can “re-brand” itself for a New Era in which the main threat to white Americans is a Mexican guy picking strawberries for $5 an hour … after the jump.

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While we lost the “Most Humorous Weblog” nomination to, uh, Gizmodo, we are honored to be nominated for “best weblog about the politics.” Every year through some mysterious process, people choose these nominees for the annual gala Bloggies event, which is held in outer space.

Here’s how it works: You go to this site and vote for us. You can vote for other categories, too. (We don’t care.) But it’s really complicated, so we’ll give you very specific instructions, after the jump.

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The other day, Virginia state delegate Frank Hargrove upset a couple thin-skinned liberals by telling black people that slavery wasn’t so bad and that they should just get over it. Hargrove, to his credit, quickly realized his error — he’d only directly offended one ethnic group. He made up for that yesterday. MORE »

Relax, everybody! That stench in the nation’s air is just a natural annual response to the anniversary of Richard Milhouse Nixon’s glorious birth.

RMN was unscrewed from his poor mother’s womb on this day in Nineteen Hundred and Thirteen. Join us after the jump for a fascinating look at this horrible little man who would be known as America’s Worst President if not for the grace of George W. Bush.

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* Matt Damon wants to do things to Dick Cheney that Jason Bourne hasn’t even heard of. News Busters]
* James Baker grabs ass and ankles for Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, hilarious historically poignant metaphor ensues. [YouTube]
* Macaca: man of the year. [Salon]
* Soldiers choose John Kerry’s wind-bagging over peeling potatoes, learn hard lesson about regret. [Blackfive]
* Iraq:Afghanistan::War on Christmas:War on Hanukkah. [Radosh]
* Ari Fleischer wants to be a congressman. [Political Wire]
* Damn the man! Save the interwebz! [YouTube]

A loopy Jesus Freak who lost a Minnesota state senate race graciously conceded by demanding the Hindu winner convert to Christianity.

Instead of the customary phone call, Rae Hart Anderson sent State Senator Satveer Chaudhary an e-mail. We know, classy! Better yet, the e-mail’s all about how winning elections is nothing compared to being a loopy Jesus Freak who got 36% of the vote. We’ve got the e-mail Christ Himself wants you to read, after the jump.

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* Heard on the Hill The true story of how S.R. “Macaca” Sidarth ended up with the Webb campaign… Steny Hoyer is a great-grandfather. Jeez… Ken Mehlman jokingly threatened to ritually mutilate George Allen’s genitals in a bizarre religious ceremony. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Which election winners will be good for gossip, which losers we’ll be sad to see leave, plus gratuitous mention of our stepmom. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Nancy Pelosi pretends to care about the House Dem’s “30-Something Working Group,” which is allowed to talk on the House floor only at night when all the grownups have gone home… Wm & Mary college Repubs list ways to get over election results. Number one: cry softly… After conceding the election, George Allen went on the radio to predict a victory for a Washington football club that was killed 27-3 by the Eagles… Only one of Y&N’s “hottest” candidates won. [Examiner]
* Rush and Molloy: Bush jokes play great in Qatar. [NYDN]

Not really. But in a strangely stilted op-ed for the Washington Post, Sidarth says: MORE »

Today’s edition of “How Others See Us” features Senator-elect Jim Webb in his secret guise as a dangerous horned devil pig, giving a hearty back-kick to the Canadian Mountie George Allen … in front of a mosque in the desert somewhere. MORE »

* It was a whole week of amazing 2006 Midterm Election madness, starting with a “I’ll choke your wife if you choke mine” deal between Congressmen McChokey and McSmacky.
* George Allen spent about 72 hours above the pop singer Madonna, in a ranking of influential American Jews.
* Completely unsurprising election day clusterfucks.
* Voters realize at the last second that terrorism is scary, but still care more about having their money stolen and the troops in Iraq.
* GOP pollster makes predictions — half right, half wrong, but still loses job.
* We spent election night at CNN’s blog slumber party. Exciting as that sounds, all we could do was keep asking ourselves the same question over and over.
* Oh yeah, those fake predictions we made, were on the money.
* Other highlights from our insane all-night election coverage, including a dispatch from Jim Webb’s never ending victory party.
* Of course, the party did eventually end — for George Allen … Macacaship Down!
* Not 12 hours after we collapsed on our desks, Rumsfeld was out, Robert Gates was in, and the 2008 Presidential race had started.
* The goodbyes are the hardest part: Godspeed George and Conrad and Mehlman.

We immediately noticed something wrong with this picture: no football. MORE »

• Pakistani newspaper reports, “Macaca communities in Virginia have taken their sweet revenge.” [Comedy Central Insider]

• It was Robert Gates’ experience exaggerating enemy military strength that landed him the job. [Rising Hegemon]
• Nancy Pelosi really is planning to impeach Bush — and only Malkin knows the truth. [Michelle Malkin]
• Allen tells Webb, “Don’t rearrange the furniture, I’ll be back in 2012.” [MoJo Blog]
• Jon Tester: “I too have dabbled in pacifism.” [Tbogg]
• Republican losses cause Rush Limbaugh to feel “liberated,” meaning he is now free to recycle Clinton era talking points about the evil Democratic establishment. [Media Matters]
• Howard Dean will not rest until he has counted every last Republican vote. [Scrappleface]
• Jesse Jackson Jr. can’t stop eating perogies and dancing polka; excitement about the new congressional majority has turned him white. [The Swamp]