Tag Archives: pt luntz it up

  luntz it up

How Will ‘Orwellian’ Hero Pollster Frank Luntz ‘Luntz-Up’ Sportsball?

GOP pollster Frank Luntz is the kind of hired gun political hack who can, with a straight face, say stuff like: “To be ‘Orwellian’ is to speak with absolute clarity, to be succinct, to explain what the event is, to talk about what triggers something happening… and to do so without any pejorative whatsoever.” Read more on How Will ‘Orwellian’ Hero Pollster Frank Luntz ‘Luntz-Up’ Sportsball?…
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Weird Youtube Proves High School Teacher Didn’t Call Trick-Or-Treaters The N-Word, Despite Media’s Evil Lies

Tipster “Nicholas” writes: Would someone figure this out, and then explain it to me in writing on an internet site? Sure, no problem, “Nicholas!” [watches video] [picks brain off floor] [stuffs it back into skull via nostrils] [passes out] [wakes up in a stranger’s bed] [dressed as a minotaur] [me, not him] [has aneurysm] [is dead, and lamented by her loving fambly] [Thanks, NICHOLAS] Read more on Weird Youtube Proves High School Teacher Didn’t Call Trick-Or-Treaters The N-Word, Despite Media’s Evil Lies…
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Lobbyists’ Lobby To Drop ‘Lobbyist’ From Its Name, In Best Rebranding Since ‘Xe’

A group that advocates for K Street — the lobbyist lobby, pretty much — will change its name to remove the word “lobbyist,” The Hill reports: The board of the American League of Lobbyists (ALL) announced Tuesday it has recommended to members that the group change its name to the Association of Government Relations Professionals. The group says the board “overwhelmingly” backed the name change as a way to more accurately “represent the range of associated professions involved in the government affairs, lobbying and public affairs community.” Because while “lobbyist” sounds kind of sleazy, “government relations professional” sounds like it’s nearly invisible, which is obviously the goal. Yr Wonkette will only support the change if the new AGRP is pronounced appropriately, as “A Grope.” Read more on Lobbyists’ Lobby To Drop ‘Lobbyist’ From Its Name, In Best Rebranding Since ‘Xe’…
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Fox News Says There’s No Government Shutdown; Federal Government & WIC Recipients Just Dieting

Hey, you takers! Fox news has some doubleplusgood Newspeak for you, fresh from the Frank Luntz playbook: There is no “government shutdown” going on. Instead, the Foxnews.com homepage refers only to the “slimdown” of the federal government. Slimdowns: so sexy! So hot right now! So “right-sized” you could fit something, say a government or a cancer baby, in a bathtub, and drown it! Read more on Fox News Says There’s No Government Shutdown; Federal Government & WIC Recipients Just Dieting…
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Are You On The NYPD’s List Of ‘Demographic Americans’? Are You Brown? Then Yes!

Fun fact: after 9/11, the NYPD created something called  a “demographics unit,” devoted to spending time in South Asian and Middle Eastern neighborhoods in New York, New Haven, and various neighborhoods in New Jersey  under the supervision of a CIA agent who worked closely with another former CIA agent hired by the NYPD shortly after 9/11. But don’t worry, the NYPD/CIA officers don’t spy on anyone or anything; they “just” go to mosques so they can “know what they are saying,” and sometimes spend hours in halal markets, bookstores, barbershops, gyms, and restaurants, writing down detailed logs of conversations wherein participants express concern about drone strike frequency in Pakistan, for example, or the ongoing occupation of Afghanistan. What? Using the CIA to spy on Americans is illegal, you say?  And targeting Americans based on their ethnic or racial characteristics violates the 14th Amendment? First of all, you have a pre-9/11 mindset. And second, they aren’t spying on regular Americans, they are spying on demographic Americans, who are probably up to no good anyways. This is why it is TOTALLY not like when the NYPD had a “black desk” in the ’60s to spy on African Americans: Read more on Are You On The NYPD’s List Of ‘Demographic Americans’? Are You Brown? Then Yes!…
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Rick Santorum Does Not Care For Your ‘Marxism Talk’ About ‘The Middle Class,’ Which Does Not Exist

Why is Rick Santorum still talking, and more importantly, why is anyone still interested in hearing him talk, given that he holds no office and everyone wishes he’d go away? Your Wonkette does not have the answer to these questions, but we DO have a video of him referring to any discussion of the middle class as “Marxism talk” at a speech he made in Iowa for some reason. This presumably only refers to Obama’s use of the term “middle class,” seeing as Santorum’s old presidential campaign website contains a page titled “Santorum hopes to rebuild middle class.” But anyway, yes, “middle class” is “Marxism talk,” let us learn about why! Read more on Rick Santorum Does Not Care For Your ‘Marxism Talk’ About ‘The Middle Class,’ Which Does Not Exist…
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Kidney-Failure Lady Humiliated For Being On Food Stamps Probably Won’t Vote Because Obamacare Kills

So there is a lady who can’t work because she has kidney failure and is on dialysis 12 hours a day, and also she takes care of her aged mom, and her husband works only part time so he can take care of her! What a hard life that is, you guys; society, in the form of government, should really do something to help her out. OH IT DID! We mean, it was probably literally the least we could do, but at least this lady and her family get some food stamps so they will not starve. SAFETY NET! But then some total dick manager at her local Kroger purposely humiliated her (she alleges) by, after they’d had a long back and forth about whether things in her cart were eligible for EBT (they were), saying “‘Excuse me for working for a living and not relying on food stamps!” This was written about by the Huffington Post, because apparently they don’t know anybody on food stamps, and thus are unaware that cashiers roll their eyes and huff their breath every single time a Poor with food stamps has the brass to try to use them to buy some food. Read more on Kidney-Failure Lady Humiliated For Being On Food Stamps Probably Won’t Vote Because Obamacare Kills…
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Virginia Idiot: ‘Sea Level Rise’ Newest Left-Wing Plot

Al Gore, besides inventing the Internet and lying constantly about that thing he said that was 100 percent correct, is also responsible for other terrible crimes against humanity. Do you know what they are? They are taking facts, like that the sea levels are rising, and making them terrible words only liberals use. Yes, the state of Virginia, in studying what to do about rising sea levels, has taken the words “sea level rise” out of its report on rising sea levels, because “sea level rise” is “left-wing.” Oh sweet Virginia. What would we here at Wonket HQ do without you and your bastard idjit brothers, like North Carolina, which already sort of did pretty much the same thing? Read more on Virginia Idiot: ‘Sea Level Rise’ Newest Left-Wing Plot…
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John Boehner Can Not Believe The Gall Of Barack Obama Wanting A Clean Vote On The Debt Ceiling (VIDEO)

Human tear factory John Boehner is shocked — shocked! — that no-goodnik President Divisive wants a “clean” debt limit increase without matching spending cuts. You perhaps remember that this was a big fucking deal last year when all the Tea Party freshman simultaneously went all bananas on John Boehner’s ass and refused to pay for what Congress had already spent, because that is just good, responsible budgeting like we all do at home, and this caused the nation’s credit to be downgraded to “Gingrich Campaign.” You may also remember that they eventually, after much derping, agreed that there would be a mix of cuts to programs cherished by each side if’n they couldn’t come up with a compromise on their own. They failed, the “sequester” (cuts) was supposed to take effect, and then HEY HOWDY! just a week or so ago they decided that all their side’s cuts would come from the Democrat side of the aisle. That is so weird and totally unexpected! So that is all just “context” for why President The Worst would be all nah John Boehner not this time just raise the fucking debt ceiling no games mang, and now John Boehner, he is breathless with the gall! And that is how it is Barack Obama’s fault that the Republicans in the House will let the nation default! Read more on John Boehner Can Not Believe The Gall Of Barack Obama Wanting A Clean Vote On The Debt Ceiling (VIDEO)…
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John Derbyshire Wonders: What Should We White Supremacists Call Ourselves Today?

Don’t cry too hard for poor John Derbyshire, thrust squalling from “the hushed, oak-paneled, Chambers-of-Commerce-financed precincts of Conservatism Inc., whose entrance is now barred against [him] by an angel with a flaming sword.” He has now settled easily into the loving embrace of Michelle Malkin and VDare, which is among your more-respectable groups of white supremacists. And what is wrong with white supremacy, wonders John Derbyshire? Isn’t it just another corner of conservatism? Indeed! Splain us please? This isn’t because conservatism is hostile to blacks and mestizos. Very much the contrary, especially in the case of Conservatism Inc. They fawn over the occasional nonwhite with a puppyish deference that fairly fogs the air with embarrassment. (Q: What do you call the one black guy at a gathering of 1,000 Republicans? A: “Mr. Chairman.”) Oooh, le SNAP! Read more on John Derbyshire Wonders: What Should We White Supremacists Call Ourselves Today?…
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Hero Journalist Attempts To Explain ‘Womyn’ To Disingenuous Douche

It’s a fine line between clever and stupid, and the poor dears of the GOP establishment are all in a tizzy trying to find it. Having somehow decided that their previous forays into women’s uteruses lacked a proper goose-stepping panache, and having also settled on calling 150 million Americans diseased whoring strumpets as their big political winner, they are now in the slightly unenviable position of reframing, and reframing, and really for serious trying super fucking hard to reframe this bitch. Read more on Hero Journalist Attempts To Explain ‘Womyn’ To Disingenuous Douche…