Tag Archives: pt losers

  losers

Story About Losing Orange County Republican Leaves Out That He Is Drunk And Creepy

Here, from our pal and colleague R. Scott Moxley, is a long and detailed article about a sad libertarian Orange County, California, Assemblyman who lost his seat — giving California Dems a supermajority — to some chick. Who’s a teacher. It features old and much-missed friends, like Marilyn Davenport, the nice old lady who was very very sorry she sent that President Obama is a chimpanzee email because it gave some the wrong impression that she might be racist. That nice old lady, Marilyn Davenport? Ex-incumbent Assemblyman Chris Norby sent out a mailer featuring her and himself. Why? Because he is gross and weird. Read more on Story About Losing Orange County Republican Leaves Out That He Is Drunk And Creepy…
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A Look Back At The Long Political Career of Ben Quayle

Dan Quayle’s weird kid, Congressman Ben, has had a long, fruitful tour through the halls of American power. He made his name writing pornography about all the bitchez he slammed in Scottsdale, for a blog. He made a comical ad where he called Barack Obama the worst president in history. He made more dumb creepy ads. He won his 2010 congressional race thanks to the big bucks he pulled in from daddy’s friends, like George H.W. Bush. Then he went party swimming in the Sea of Galilee, to procure water for his daughter’s baptism. And last night he lost his congressional primary, ha ha ha. He’s done. Boo! Read more on A Look Back At The Long Political Career of Ben Quayle…
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Erin Burnett Thinks You Are A Loser, Lies About It

OMG you guys, what was it like to wake up on Thursday and have less liberty? Did you know right away, or were you in so much shock that it took awhile to hit you? Because these are the kinds of questions your grandkids will ask about the Day That Justice Roberts Took Freedom Away, or alternatively, as CNN’s Erin Burnett put it, We All Became Losers. Well, au contraire mon soeur, SOME of us were ALREADY losers, ha. Also, Erin Burnett is making things up as she goes along, which is only surprising because her lies and obfuscations are usually in service to gargantuan financial institutions, not Mitt Romney. So this is something new and different! Read more on Erin Burnett Thinks You Are A Loser, Lies About It…
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America’s Most Famous Deadbeat Dad Joe Walsh Given Pro-Family Award

The Family Research Council, Satan’s favorite little pack of square-edged dildo monsters, mysteriously gave screamy attention whore Joe Walsh an award recognizing him as a “pro-family” human despite the fact that Joe Walsh is known back in reality as the worst, most anti-family human in Congress, for cheating his kids out of their little child support dimes for years even as he sues his ex-wife to avoid ever paying them. But still, he votes for things like trying to strip gay people of the chance to ever marry, repealing health care reform and destroying funding for women’s clinics, and…God, what are we saying? Joe Walsh deserves an award for being the guy in Congress you least want near your family. AND YET. Read more on America’s Most Famous Deadbeat Dad Joe Walsh Given Pro-Family Award… Read more on America’s Most Famous Deadbeat Dad Joe Walsh Given Pro-Family Award…
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Arlen Specter Manages To Complete Final Senate Speech Without Switching Parties

Arlen Specter, still talking, but for one last time: “The spectacular re-election of Senator Lisa Murkowski on a write-in vote in the Alaskan general election and the defeat of other Tea Party candidates in 2010 in general elections may show the way to counter right-wing extremists,” he said. “By bouncing back and winning, Senator Murkowski demonstrated that a moderate-centrist can win by informing and arousing the general electorate. Her victory proves that America still wants to be and can be governed by the center.” Read more on Arlen Specter Manages To Complete Final Senate Speech Without Switching Parties…
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Is Sarah Palin’s Golden Touch Turning Into Fool’s Gold?

Religion/national security/energy/feminism expert @SarahPalinUSA might be losing her magical touch when it comes to stumping for the nation’s Republican candidates, speculates the new peer-reviewed political science journal The Hill. Both Washington Senate candidate Clint Didier and Wyoming wannabe governor Rita Meyer just lost their primaries despite having Palin’s endorsement, joining a losers’ circle that includes Georgia not-gonna-be-guv Karen Handel, Kansas senatorial failure Todd Tiahrt, and a fancy lawyer lady in Tennessee named CeCe Heil who won’t be a Congresslady come November. What does this mean for Palin’s own campaign — which may or may not be real, like everything else about her? Read more on Is Sarah Palin’s Golden Touch Turning Into Fool’s Gold?…
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WINGNUT CONSIDERS CALLING MORE ATTENTION TO HIMSELF FOR BULK BOOK SALES: “Conservative talk-radio host and attorney Mark Levin said he plans to file an immediate lawsuit if House Democratic leaders try to utilize a little-known maneuver under House rules to pass the health-care bill without actually having to vote on it.” Ha ha, if they even TRY to utilize it, or think about trying, he’ll sue ’em like hot chickens. Who will counter-sue Mark Levin, for fun? “ShortsShortsShorts”? [The Corner] Read more on …
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Rick Santelli Is Very Upset That People Care About AIG Derivatives Unit Bonuses

All it took was for the National Outrage to direct itself at derivatives traders at the World’s Worst Company receiving bonuses, and now Rick Santelli is finally saying: Whoa… hey… let’s cool it down, right? Besides, this outrage over $165 million doesn’t exist in a vacuum. People want government policy towards AIG (“give them the night key to the U.S. Mint”) completely changed now that the very worst individuals in the company are being directly rewarded. The fact that those contracts have to be honored under the present arrangement says quite a bit. [YouTube] Read more on Rick Santelli Is Very Upset That People Care About AIG Derivatives Unit Bonuses…
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We Told You Tattoos Aren’t Cool

The history of American Tattoos: 1) Poor greasers and sailors and bikers and gang-bangers get tattoos. 2) “Edgy” fad spreads to various musical subcultures, mostly rockabilly and punk. 3) 1990s grunge era seduces even elitist college kids into getting inked. 4) Trickle-down tattoo economics means every single white-trash person now has several ugly tattoos on their fat legs (for gals) and necks (for the gents). 5) Every low-rent strip mall has a tattoo shop next to the payday loan place. 6) Arkansas tattoo parlor proudly aligns with right-wing jesus-freak racists. [Arkansas Times Blog] Read more on We Told You Tattoos Aren’t Cool…
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Obama Rally Bummer: Only 6,000 Show Up In Green Bay

John McCain and Sarah Palin recently held a rally in Green Bay for 10,000 people, but sad Barack Obama could only scare up 6,000 at noon on a Monday. He promised to talk about our nation’s flourishing economy and instead just delivered a weird lecture about how important it is to put lobbyist meetings online via a hidden sexcam. Then an organizer came out and made this weird election-day threat: “Volunteer for at least one hour or spend four years regretting that you did not.” Barack Obama is resorting to scare tactics and hidden lobbyist pornography. He must be panicking! [Chicago Sun-Times] Read more on Obama Rally Bummer: Only 6,000 Show Up In Green Bay…
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Who Will Be Doomed McCain Pick?

Enough of boring old Barack Obama. Who will be McCain’s first black female vice president under the age of 40? Nobody knows! All the news reports are about various people who say they will not be veep! We got yer Sarah Palin, yer Tim Pawlenty, and our boyfriend Mike Murphy said on the MSNBC half an hour ago that his pal on the Romney campaign declares it isn’t Mitt, either. So it’s either Lieberman or the humble roasted chicken to your left. [Political Ticker] Read more on Who Will Be Doomed McCain Pick?…
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Newt Gingrich, Hobo Republican Congressmen Relive Glory Days In Empty Congress

The loser Republicans who refuse to take their vacation and are holding a Cuddle Party about energy on the House floor instead have employed, who else, Newt Gingrich, to get their message out! Gingrich heads a 527 called American Solutions for Winning the Future, or ASWF. The acronym is pronounced “Ass Whoof,” like a fart, which it is. Read more on Newt Gingrich, Hobo Republican Congressmen Relive Glory Days In Empty Congress…
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THIS WILL TURN OUT WELL: House Republicans would have to win back 19 seats in November to “Reclaim Our Majority,” which is why Roy Blunt’s big plan is to back exactly two GOP challengers. [TPM Election Central] Read more on …
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Louisiana’s Boy Governor Threatened With Recall

In the great state of Louisiana, any citizen can file, for free, a petition to recall the governor — and that is exactly what some dude and his wife have done, because Bobby Jindal won’t veto a pay raise that would double the salary of state legislators. Will Ryan and Kourtney Fournier be able to bring down the crazed teenaged exorcism and castration fetishist who skyrocketed to the highest office in the state? Probably not, because they’ll have to collect nearly a million signatures in the next six months. But still! Read more on Louisiana’s Boy Governor Threatened With Recall…
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Sam Brownback Has Co-Sponsored Bills With The Most Liberal Senator!

Republican Senator and failed presidential candidate Sam Brownback, on a conference call today: “John McCain’s a maverick. He’s fought for a bipartisan fashion … I think that the biggest thing I’ve seen from Barack Obama is a willingness, aggressiveness, to talk bipartisan and yet to vote the hard left — most liberal member of the United States Senate.” A known liberal! Read more on Sam Brownback Has Co-Sponsored Bills With The Most Liberal Senator!…
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Nader: Barack Obama Is A Cracker

Ralph Nader decided to open his trap about Barack Obama on Monday in an interview with the Rocky Mountain News, AND: “There’s only one thing different about Barack Obama when it comes to being a Democratic presidential candidate. He’s half African-American. Whether that will make any difference, I don’t know. I haven’t heard him have a strong crackdown on economic exploitation in the ghettos. Payday loans, predatory lending, asbestos, lead. What’s keeping him from doing that? Is it because he wants to talk white?” Indeed, why can’t Wonder Bread Obama over here find himself a damn niche already? [Rocky Mountain News] Read more on Nader: Barack Obama Is A Cracker…
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HA HA, THAT LARRY GUY’S IN JAIL NOW: So that career criminal who somehow rented (with John McCain’s American Express?) the Holeman Lounge (ha ha, “holeman”) at the National Press Club today, to give a “press conference” about how he dreams of having gay drug murder sex with famous presidents such as Barack Obama, was arrested by the Police for various petty outstanding crimes against humanity, right after his pathetic performance, the end. [Reason] Read more on …