Tag: pt losers

Democrats Win GOP Debate

On Thursday, Donald Trump and four other guys spent two and a half hours saying a bunch of nonsense that was stupid, wrong, or both. That's what typically happens when Republicans open their mouths. Take Obamacare, for example, which they all...

Spoiler: None Of These GOP Jerkholes Are Going To Be President

So there is a presidential election thingy, and it is a mere 15 months away, which means we all get to spend the next year(ish) talking all the words about it, hooray! We get to squint at a trillion...

Story About Losing Orange County Republican Leaves Out That He Is Drunk And Creepy

Here, from our pal and colleague R. Scott Moxley, is a long and detailed article about a sad libertarian Orange County, California, Assemblyman who lost his seat -- giving California Dems a supermajority -- to some chick. Who's a...

A Look Back At The Long Political Career of Ben Quayle

Dan Quayle's weird kid, Congressman Ben, has had a long, fruitful tour through the halls of American power. He made his name writing pornography about all the bitchez he slammed in Scottsdale, for a blog. He made a comical...

Erin Burnett Thinks You Are A Loser, Lies About It

OMG you guys, what was it like to wake up on Thursday and have less liberty? Did you know right away, or were you in so much shock that it took awhile to hit you? Because these are the...

America’s Most Famous Deadbeat Dad Joe Walsh Given Pro-Family Award

The Family Research Council, Satan's favorite little pack of square-edged dildo monsters, mysteriously gave screamy attention whore Joe Walsh an award recognizing him as a "pro-family" human despite the fact that Joe Walsh is known back in reality as...

Arlen Specter Manages To Complete Final Senate Speech Without Switching Parties

Arlen Specter, still talking, but for one last time: “The spectacular re-election of Senator Lisa Murkowski on a write-in vote in the Alaskan general election and the defeat of other Tea Party candidates in 2010 in general elections may show...

Is Sarah Palin’s Golden Touch Turning Into Fool’s Gold?

Religion/national security/energy/feminism expert @SarahPalinUSA might be losing her magical touch when it comes to stumping for the nation's Republican candidates, speculates the new peer-reviewed political science journal The Hill. Both Washington Senate candidate Clint Didier and Wyoming wannabe governor...

WINGNUT CONSIDERS CALLING MORE ATTENTION TO HIMSELF FOR BULK BOOK SALES: "Conservative talk-radio host and attorney Mark Levin said he plans to file an immediate lawsuit if House Democratic leaders try to utilize a little-known maneuver under House rules...

Rick Santelli Is Very Upset That People Care About AIG Derivatives Unit Bonuses

All it took was for the National Outrage to direct itself at derivatives traders at the World's Worst Company receiving bonuses, and now Rick Santelli is finally saying: Whoa... hey... let's cool it down, right? Besides, this outrage over...

We Told You Tattoos Aren’t Cool

The history of American Tattoos: 1) Poor greasers and sailors and bikers and gang-bangers get tattoos. 2) "Edgy" fad spreads to various musical subcultures, mostly rockabilly and punk. 3) 1990s grunge era seduces even elitist college kids into getting...

Obama Rally Bummer: Only 6,000 Show Up In Green Bay

John McCain and Sarah Palin recently held a rally in Green Bay for 10,000 people, but sad Barack Obama could only scare up 6,000 at noon on a Monday. He promised to talk about our nation's flourishing economy and...

Who Will Be Doomed McCain Pick?

Enough of boring old Barack Obama. Who will be McCain's first black female vice president under the age of 40? Nobody knows! All the news reports are about various people who say they will not be veep! We got...

Yes We C… Yes It Has!

Just to reiterate, but isn't it funny that the Republicans nominated the guy Matt Drudge hates more than anyone?

Newt Gingrich, Hobo Republican Congressmen Relive Glory Days In Empty Congress

The loser Republicans who refuse to take their vacation and are holding a Cuddle Party about energy on the House floor instead have employed, who else, Newt Gingrich, to get their message out! Gingrich heads a 527 called American...

THIS WILL TURN OUT WELL: House Republicans would have to win back 19 seats in November to "Reclaim Our Majority," which is why Roy Blunt's big plan is to back exactly two GOP challengers.