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  liveblogging in hell

Liveblogging the ‘Oh Let’s Pretend We Like Herman Cain’ GOP Debate PART II

ARE WE ARE AT WAR, ALREADY? ┬áHere is the JESUS WEEN, watching Herman Cain and Rick Perry preside over the flogging of Jesus-hater Nazi Pope common-sense rapist Mitt Romney while he sobs over the corpse of a spider, who is Michele Bachmann. It is a metaphor for all of American Capitalism. LET US CONTINUE watching these clueless fops debate one another about who is most qualified to return the United States to the glorious eternal night of the Middle Ages and plagues, to complete the cycle of history. PART TWO, HERE WE GO: Read more on Liveblogging the ‘Oh Let’s Pretend We Like Herman Cain’ GOP Debate PART II…
  liveblogging in hell

Liveblogging the ‘Oh Let’s Pretend We Like Herman Cain’ GOP Debate

Hello, and welcome to Hades. It’s time for another “there’s actually a GOP debate every week forever” edition of Tonight’s GOP Debate. Who Will Win? Maybe Michele Bachmann will revive her lagging campaign by making the “Cakes of Light” (you really don’t want to know) and then maybe Chris Christie bursts out of this enormous semen/blood concoction, naked except for novelty Jack Sparrow dreadlocks, and sings “Happy Birthday I’m the President” in a comical/racist Warner Bros. cartoon “Italian voice,” and then Herman Cain transforms the entire auditorium into a Barnes & Noble book signing, and gives everybody their own burned-down fast-food franchise to “work from the ground up.” This is the only thing that can happen … this, and whatever actually happens over the next two hours of mental waterboarding. Grab literally every kind of alcoholic beverage and narcotic you can find and prepare yourself, because it’s time to Occupy Corporate America’s Fake Populist Mormon Cultist Texan Pizza Monsters. Would Jesus have it any other way, in this country he built from scratch on a sunny day in 1776 (with slave labor)? Watch it live on Bloomberg, with us! Read more on Liveblogging the ‘Oh Let’s Pretend We Like Herman Cain’ GOP Debate…