AN UPDATE. And yet, tragically, an actual real book called End the Fed by the Honorable Dr. Congressman Ron Paul weeps in the #8 position. [Amazon]

Your Wonkette recently had the pleasure of interviewing Center for American Progress speechwriter and “nouveau literature author” Grant Ginder, who’s just had his first novel, This Is How It Starts, published by Simon and Schuster. It’s in book stores everywhere! But what is it about? The novel follows young Taylor Mark, who moves to Washington D.C. shortly after college and discovers how terrible it is, maybe. Then he runs around and whines like a bitch for a while and even goes to one very important Late Night Shots party. But it’s funny! Roll Call is raving! After the jump, the text our our very embarrassing Gchat conversation with Grant about Mike Allen and the Politico, as well as pictures from last week’s book release party in a Georgetown bar that is literally owned by Ralph Lauren Polo. MORE »

When Rod Blagojevich lost his cush job as governor of Illinois, everybody wondered how he would ever be able to put food on his family again because he was qualified to perform zero useful functions outside of being America’s Clown. But then he got a book deal and people were all, “Oh hey nice six-figure book deal you got there, even if it’s chicken scratch compared to what you could have gotten in bribes if you’d stayed in office.” Now we “turn the page” on another “chapter” (GET IT???) of this exciting story. MORE »

Barack Obama once again demonstrated his callous unconcern for the American people by signing a major book deal right before he was sworn into office. Obama received a $500,000 advance for a middle-school reader’s version of Dreams From My Father on January 15. This obscene amount calls for a congressional investigation, and harsh words from Christopher Dodd! It also suggests that the only way to secure a decent book advance these days is to get elected president — a process that is only slightly more difficult than getting a publisher to look at your manuscript. [Washington Times]

Well dammit, it appears Joe the Plumber has successfully metamorphosed from rat-faced creep into literary sad sack in the space of about three months. Not so long ago he was riding high, saying dumb things on all the cable news shows and even going to Israel to lament how nobody censors the press in wartime anymore. But now he’s just another washed-up debut author who can’t move more than 5 books in a reading. MORE »

Books! Funsy, right? Sure. Here are some fun book-related events in DC this week (big week for Politics & Prose). Here are also some of the week’s Most Vital book reviews, which you can read in DC, or anywhere. MORE »

An iconic postwar British playwright who hated America so much, Harold Pinter, died yesterday. He really despised George Bush’s war in Iraq, as well as the other American wars and killings: “The crimes of the U.S. throughout the world have been systematic, constant, clinical, remorseless, and fully documented but nobody talks about them.” Indeed, freedom is on the march. Let’s end with a happier quote: “When the storm is over and night falls and the moon is out in all its glory and all you’re left with is the rhythm of the sea, of the waves, you know what God intended for the human race, you know what paradise is.” [NYT]

In today’s installment, we remember The Slaughter of The Cock: “I watched the man set the bird down, pinning it gently under one knee, and pulling its neck out across a narrow gutter. For a moment the bird struggled, beating its wings hard against the ground, a few feathers dancing up with the wind. Then it grew completely still. The man pulled the blade across the bird’s neck in a single smooth motion. Blood shot out in a long, crimson ribbon. Lolo rubbed his hand across my head and told me and my mother to go wash up before dinner.” As some Harvard guy writing in a small newspaper wrote today, “As we approach the critical months of the national campaign, Obama may need to recall the oedipal lessons learned from his stepfather or consult his notes on the Balinese cockfight.” Truer words. Wait, what? [The Free Lance-Star]

Meghan McCain is a quick finisher! It hasn’t been that long since we first learned about John McCain’s unemployed blogger daughter’s upcoming children’s book, and already it’s nearing publication. September 2 in fact, during the convention! And yes, that is the actual cover art, and yes, members of the Main Stream Media got a sneak preview today. Can you describe the sweet children’s book for us, CBS News? “There are illustrations of the McCain’s capture as a prisoner of war and stumping on the campaign trail, drawn by artist Dan Andreasan, who also did the illustrations for the childrens’ books ‘Pilot Pups’ and ‘A Special Day For Mommy.’” We will seriously pay someone $100 in Disney Dollars for a copy of the book RIGHT NOW. [Indecision 2008, CBS News]

Longtime Denver Broncos kicker Jason Elam is exploring his aesthetic side these days and has penned a new novel in collaboration with his pastor, Steve Yohn. It’s called Ulysses and takes place over the course of a day in Ireland. No no, that’s the other greatest book of all time. Jason Elam’s is called Monday Night Jihad, and it’s a “pro-football-themed spy thriller about fighting terrorists.” Coincidentally, that’s exactly how Fred Thompson is pitching his foreign policy approach. MORE »