Well, that’s what this dingus gets for not carrying around a pocket-sized copy of The Communist Manifesto, which was pretty clearly published in 1848, MANY MOONS after the drafting of the Constitution. At a recent appearance in Wausau, Wisconsin, he said that the Founding Fathers “knew socialism doesn’t work. They knew communism doesn’t work.” On the other hand, the Founding Fathers knew two things did work: leeching, and slavery. [Wausau Daily Herald]

You know your party has hit new lows of odiousness when even a rat-eyed tax-delinquent creep who makes propaganda videos for Pajamas Media wants nothing to do with you. So congratulations, Republicans, Joe the “Plumber” is dumping your ass. MORE »

Ladies and dudes, it’s Joe the Plumber, reporting from Sderot, Israel! And … wow. This miserable slob can’t even bother to put on a collared shirt when he does his “reporting,” which is really just bitching about how he “liked it back in World War I and World War II” when you would get all your war journalism at the movie theater. Is Joe the Plumber truly the world’s largest known example of a human dildo, or is he a brilliant performance artist sent to us by Jesus/The Onion, for laffs? [YouTube]

There is a special place in Hell for hairless rat-eyed creeps who rise to fame as an emblem of all that is mediocre and shameful about our dumb country and who make careers for themselves selling digital TV converters and then start yapping about how they never really supported the people who made them a household name in the first place. We speak, of course, of the odious Joe the Plumber, who will suffer an eternity of torment at the hands of lecherous demons with forked sex organs. MORE »