There’s so much romantic goodwill out there tonight, for the Obamas, that people are using home video cameras to videotape the teevee showing the new First Couple’s First Dance. It is touching, this outpouring of inept support! MORE »

Sure is fun to have a black guy as president, what with the hope and all, and what an exciting day of inaugural inauguration events …. OH WHAT IN THE HELL BARACK IS DOING THE DEVIL-HORN HAND-SIGN! MORE »

Oh, this is sweet: Chief Justice John Roberts intentionally (allegedly!) fucked up the Presidential Oath, so the wingnuts could claim Obama really isn’t president, because he said the words in the wrong order. See, not only is Roberts a Republican hack, but Obama voted against his confirmation. But Roberts’ evil plan sort of fell apart, because he was dealing with Barack Obama the famous Constitutional Law Professor. MORE »

• OBAMA’S FIRST VICTIMS? Prehistoric klansman Robert Byrd and/or Liberal Lion Ted Kennedy collapsed during the Congressional Lunch with the new president! Yikes. The lunch goes on. Be careful in there, everybody. UPDATE: Both of them! UPDATE II: No, just Teddy. [Politico]

It is actually a beautiful, sunny day in Washington D.C., in the freezing winter! The people are hopey, happy, etc. Allah really does want this Barack Obama character to become president, of Earth. Let us now continue the patriotic liveblogging of this Inauguration Day Inaugural Special, from Washington, where somehow another Bush is not becoming president today. MORE »

Your latest report from the brave yet doomed COMICS CURMUDGEON: “Attempted to get to mall at 7th, were told it was full and we should go to 14th. Now we are trudging through this Le Corbusier-style hellscape. We will end up watching the speech from Arlington, in an Olive Garden, obviously. Sent from my iPhone.” Even elitists need bottomless grease-bread sticks! [Earlier Josh Reports]

It’s time for our first official historical inaugural Inauguration Day liveblogging! Good morning, Hopeful America. We’ve got the Comics Curmudgeon on the ground, Jim Newell staggering around Capitol Hill with a broken camera, and the best political team on the internets, etc. Let’s gather together around our teevee set and make fun of the cable-news people and, later, cry tears of awesome. MORE »

It’s been a while since we checked in with our favorite Internet Political Illustrator, David Dees. He doesn’t seem very “hopeful” about this Barack Obama character! Then again, only Ron Paul could actually save our nation, but the New World Order had Doctor Paul killed! So sad. MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Being a political cartoonist has got to be kind of rough. They’re all getting fired as newspapers downsize, and those that still manage to have a job drawing cartoons, for money, inevitably make political points that alienate at least half of their readers. So you’d think that they might find it enraging that some asshole on the Internet has a whole weekly venue just to make fun of their work, despite the fact that said asshole has no artistic talent himself whatsoever? And yet sometimes these sad souls actually send us their own cartoons, in hope of us mocking them! After the jump, it’s a very special Cartoon Violence, starring the vilest cartoon you can possibly imagine. MORE »

So it looks like Obama is serious about this, and intends to become the president next week. Here’s the official Presidential Portrait of your favorite new Commander in Chief, wearing one of those phoney-baloney American Flag pins. This picture was reportedly taken by Pete Souza yesterday. Presumptuous. Click for the giant version, and then masturbate to it, for America. MORE »

• Say goodbye to the Washington Post’s “Sunday Source” section. It will be replaced by David Gregory. [Fishbowl DC]
• Today is the day when local Christmas trees are finally legal, thus making them undesirable to members of Congress. [Washington Post]
• Here is a heart-breaking story of a $70k Audi which was stripped of its tires on Thanksgiving Day and then dragged to the impound lot without wheels. [DCist]
• DC buses have been co-opted for exciting no-stakes religious wars. [DC Examiner]
• The Metro escalators will not be operation on Inauguration Day, forcing Americans to take the stairs. It is an unprecedented tragedy. [WTOP]