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  wonkette world o' books

Do Novels Cause Old Person Terrorism?

A bunch of decrepit rednecks fantasizing about mass murder is a common enough occurrence in North Georgia (your Wonkette bookman knows this from lifelong experience). What’s different about the alleged plot by this AARP IRA is that they had the misfortune to run into an FBI informant who actually challenged them to put their brain-damaged program into action. Thus, a “bucket list” of gubmint/corporate/media folk to kill, plus an imaginary Knight Rider car that spits ricin all over I-85. It’s good to know that novels can still inspire people to change the world Read more on Do Novels Cause Old Person Terrorism?…
  important questions of our time

Where The Hell Is Ken Layne?

When Wonkette “editor” Ken Layne declared that he was going to drive to the site of the stolen Jesus Cross in California’s Mojave Desert yesterday, most of us assumed that this was his latest excuse to hitchhike to the nearest McDonald’s and drink a liter of vodka, as he does every afternoon. We still believe this. The Los Angeles Times, however, claims to have spotted the Layne Monster at the site of this Jesus Cross, looking like a nut. Let’s split the difference and just assume that he’s dead. [LA Times] Read more on Where The Hell Is Ken Layne?…
  important questions of our time

Snobby Elitist College Nerds Attack Condi, Condi Fights Back

Hooray for VIDEO FRIDAY, yes? Now you will watch this video. Condi Rice teaches at Stanford again and recently attended this Dorm Reception to meet the rich liberal bastards, who decided to harass her, about torture. We encourage you to watch the whole clip, because she gets progressively snippier as it goes on. “Sorry, you’re wrong,” she tells this little douche, who suggests that the Nazis were a bigger threat than Al Qaeda and she’s like, “Uhh you’re retarded.” Finally she just says “Do your homework.” Also she does not think that waterboarding is torture, so that is kind of the “fundamental issue” here. [SFist] Read more on Snobby Elitist College Nerds Attack Condi, Condi Fights Back…