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Posts Tagged ‘important polls’

IMPORTANT POLLS

7-Eleven Convenience Store Chain Is In The Tank

Thursday, October 16th, 2008

Candy bar and porno chain 7-Eleven is of course holding an important election poll in which customers purchasing coffee have the option of using a blue cup if they support the Muslim or a red cup if they support Walnuts. Many more blue cups have sold! Why do 7-Eleven customers love terrorism so much? This website also says, “Hail To the Beans!” which is just flat-out funny as shit. [7-eleven via Mark Blumenthal]


IMPORTANT POLLS

Ralph Nader Still Trailing In Battleground States

Wednesday, September 10th, 2008

Here are some important new Battleground polls that you should take with a grain of salt, because they have not factored in Ron Paul’s 1/3-endorsement of Ralph Nader today. Otherwise, these are pretty good signs for Obama — after all, they were conducted Sept. 7-9, a three-day period during which Democrats caved entirely to their old friend Self-Loathing and Republicans were gaining media traction with the impossible idea that they care about women at all. So why is it that New Hampshire and Michigan are being so Sexist? [The Page]


IMPORTANT POLLS

What Drugs Are The Gallup Folks Taking, And Can We Have Some?

Monday, July 28th, 2008

Here is your favorite Gallup daily tracking poll, which shows Barack Obama beating John McCain by a million points in recent days. Oh and what’s this, it’s another Gallup poll, in collaboration with USA Today, which shows WALNUTS! winning by four points. Why is Gallup being so gay? [Gallup, USA Today]