A certain Baby K. Smith is due into the world at any moment, like TODAY, and its mother will probably need to look after it for a while until it figures out how to work the safety on the shotgun and open its own beers. You will be left in the capable hands of your male editors, who will maybe force themselves to drag their asses out of bed at a vaguely human hour for the next few months. MORE »

Your newest Wonkette associate still confuses Barry Goldwater with that other guy, the Democrat (McGeorge Bundy?), and spends her free time watching surgery programs on The Learning Channel. In other words, she’s got that perfect combination of seasoned inside-the-beltway perspective and an intimate working knowledge of enlarged livers that makes her the right person at the right time for Wonkette, until she gets fired. Exciting and detailed personal information, after the jump!

Sara K. Smith was born into a band of roving hobos, but through sheer moxie and old-fashioned grit transformed herself into one of those white Ivy League-educated douchebags that “ordinary Americans” despise. Several years ago she abandoned her glamorous job as a freelance technology marketing writer to work for Sploid, another doomed venture headed up by Ol’ Beardy. She now happily jumps aboard this leaking proud vessel with Hope in her heart that she, like Hillary Clinton, may some day bring America the transcendent blessing of electronic medical records.