Tag Archives: pt idiots

  idiots

Richard Cohen Does Not Think James Bond’s Muscles Are Fair To Richard Cohen

Uh oh, you guys. Richard Cohen went to the movies. And Richard Cohen has a bone to pick, with the movies. What happened to suave leading men like Cary Grant and Humphrey Bogart and Richard Cohen, HENGHHH? Why does Daniel Craig get to be “a movie star” just because he makes your Editrix, and your Editrix’s mother, and every woman your Editrix has ever spoken to about Daniel Craig (she has spoken to every woman about Daniel Craig) weak of knee and damp of puss? The Mayan Apocalypse cannot come too soon if this musclebound “Daniel Craig” character is supposed to be our new hotness. What happened to the way things used to be, when women were wives and skinny nerds were le sexy? Read more on Richard Cohen Does Not Think James Bond’s Muscles Are Fair To Richard Cohen…
  idiots

Illiterate Scott Walker’s Illiterate Tweet Removed By Staffers

Wisconsin Kochsuckler Scott Walker was so excited to get some time off for Thanksgiving, before he is recalled for being a giant jerkoff and also making Wisconsin number one in job losses. (How’s that “Wisconsin Is Open For Business” slogan working out, Walker?) The governor apparently typed the charmingly idiotic message pictured above all by himself, with whatever thumb wasn’t in his mouth. And then it was removed, presumably by his embarrassed staffers, who will soon be unemployed like everyone else in Wisconsin, the end. Read more on Illiterate Scott Walker’s Illiterate Tweet Removed By Staffers…
  idiots

Fox And Friends Call Protester Mom ‘Filth’ For Joining #OWS

The mentally ill dingbats at Fox and Friends devoted part of their program to calling kindly mom lady protester Stacy Hessler “disgusting filth” because she was so moved by the Occupy Wall Street protests that she left her teenage kids at home with their dad in Florida to participate at Zuccotti Park. B-b-but a woman’s place is in the home with all her chilluns! HORROR. And that’s all that Murdoch’s banal goons have got, “lady Occupy Wall Street protesters trust their husbands not to kill the kids while they’re out of town for a while.” Meanwhile, the corporate welfare gorgons at Goldman Sachs withdrew their charitable donation to a credit union that serves the poor, just to be somehow even worse than usual. Read more on Fox And Friends Call Protester Mom ‘Filth’ For Joining #OWS…
  idiots

Michelle Malkin Hated Onion Hostage Joke Because It Lacked Democrats

The Onion put out a series of “breaking news” tweets narrating an escalating Capitol Hill hostage situation perpetrated by Republican members of Congress (GET IT??), which the Capitol Police decided to treat as actionable cause for TOTAL PANIC because “satire” is not covered in the police training manual. Hooray, Earth is now sentenced to have a Serious Internet Discussion with itself about whether or not comedians should be Gitmo’d or just gang-raped for making jokes about John Boehner and Eric Cantor being deranged maniacs. And while most of the news media is complaining that the joke is in poor taste because it ruined their fun thwarted toy airplane plot news cycle, shrill right-wing nutjob Michelle Malkin thinks the joke is in poor taste because these libtard comedians made their fake hostage scenario featuring the wrong party of legislators. Read more on Michelle Malkin Hated Onion Hostage Joke Because It Lacked Democrats…
  idiots

Joe Biden Loves $125,000,000,000 Lost War, Mocks $125 Tortoise Website

Joe Biden stumbled out of his call-center cubicle yesterday and decided to do something idiotic again. What did the human embarrassment do this time? Oh, just attack some low-paid government biologists for working really hard on an endangered species website that costs all of $125 a year — that’s a hundred-and-twenty-five dollars. Hmm, that sounds a little bit like a number Joe Biden loves to spend, but you need to add nine zeroes, because that’s what this administration spends killing American troops and robot-bombing random villagers in Afghanistan, every year: $125 billion. But spending .000000001% of that — about the price of the average household’s monthly cell-phone bill — to maintain a website about the endangered state animal of California and Nevada, the beloved desert tortoise, now that’s something Joe Biden doesn’t care for at all. He sent an email about this, to everyone, to show what a jabbering imbecile he is. Read more on Joe Biden Loves $125,000,000,000 Lost War, Mocks $125 Tortoise Website…
  idiots

Republican National Committee Candidates Unfamiliar With Books

Which pea-brained clown will become the new chairperson of the Republican National Committee? Whether it’s the dingbat woman dreaming of getting wasted at her kitchen table again or the lunkhead who just keeps barking “Reagan! Reagan!” when asked if he has ever read a book, all five of these mouth-breathing imbeciles are perfect representatives of America’s Political Elite, circa 2011. Read more on Republican National Committee Candidates Unfamiliar With Books…
  idiots

Arizona Kills War Hero Dog

So this dog saved a bunch of people during some terror bombing in Afghanistan. What a brave dog! Like all heroes, this dog was sent to America to go on teevee, so it could become famous and live with a family of Army heroes. Sadly, the dog was also sent to live in Arizona: Read more on Arizona Kills War Hero Dog…
  idiots

Michele Bachmann’s Husband (!) Super Upset Over F-Word Used On Sign Somewhere

Having called for armed revolution against America’s democratically elected government, duck-faced sociopath Michele Bachmann truly exemplifies mature political discourse. This is why her alleged husband just put his name on a Bachmann 4 Congress fund-raising email, because the staffer who wrote this email cannot believe the local communists have gone so far as to put up some anti-Bachmann signs around Minneapolis, where they live. What do these signs say? Nobody knows for sure, because of the Bachmann’s campaign sudden, shocking ability to self-edit, but it’s a four-letter word that starts with “F.” We are going to check the dictionary! Read more on Michele Bachmann’s Husband (!) Super Upset Over F-Word Used On Sign Somewhere…
  idiots

Mike Huckabee Writes Poem About How He Wants Nancy Pelosi To Resign

Hmm, what are the Republicans acting outraged about today? The usual — Obama offended the Hunchback of Notre Dame, Biden said something about his basement, Nancy Pelosi is a California lady who has an important job, etc. There are probably Twitters on all these important subjects! But, as the Twitter fad seems to be fading faster than the new Tom Hanks movie about terrible airport paperbacks, the GOP’s hundred warring factions need a new way to scare off the rest of America. Hmm, what’s something that’s destined for failure even when the pros do it? Poetry! Read more on Mike Huckabee Writes Poem About How He Wants Nancy Pelosi To Resign…
  idiots

Rick Santorum Giving ‘Islamic’ Language Lessons

Possibly the most ignorant motherfucker to ever walk the halls of the Senate, Rick Santorum was sent packing in 2006 because, even by Republican standards, he is an outrageously stupid bigot and total human failure. For some reason, he was allowed to give a “speech” at some college in Nebraska, where he gave his usual historically wrong and intellectually vapid comments about the exciting moros y cristianos battle still happening, in his mind. Oh yes, there were laughs to be had! Read more on Rick Santorum Giving ‘Islamic’ Language Lessons…