The night ‘o liveblogging continues with this, your post-post Obama semi-State of the Union liveblog. And how about that Bobby Jindal? Sunday School will never be the same, right? (GOOD THING ADULTS DON’T GO TO SUNDAY SCHOOL.) What a dork! Anyway, your Liveblogging Part One and Part Two and Part Three and Part Four can be found by clicking those very words, to help the economy. And now let’s watch the lamers talk about whatever they talk about, how Obama failed, etc. MORE »

ANCIENT SEX LIZARD MAKES BABIES: A gruesome, century-old cancer-ridden basilisk in New Zealand somehow impregnated another monster, and 11 baby Cockatrice hatched on Monday. Change is here! [National Geographic]

There has apparently been a raging mystery over the source of the SERIOUS Barack Obama photo in that HOPE poster we’ve all seen so many times that the only logical reaction, now, is to give the same Soviety red-blue Socialist Realism treatment to, uh, Bill Kristol. But the mystery is now solved! Turns out a Reuters campaign-trail shooter named Jim Young took the picture way back in January 2007. And even though Young was following the Obama campaign for the next two years — constantly seeing and even photographing the HOPE/CHANGE posters that were plastered to every vertical surface — he didn’t recognize his shot! MORE »

We have finally solved a great mystery here at Wonkette International Headquarters! We kept seeing these insane commercials on the teevee, with Beyoncé encouraging us to upgrade to digital cable while she writhed around in golden garbs and held a menacing trinket in her teeth reading “UPGRADE.” Since when, we asked, did Beyoncé care about anything as prosaic as technology? It turns out this digital cable commercial is just a rehash of an actual song about materialistic things, which we would have known if we ever hung out with youngsters. MORE »

Here’s heavy-petting Saxby Chambliss defending himself, on the Fox News, against a Jim Martin ad that quotes Chambliss saying he doesn’t even know what the term “recession” means. We’ll cut him some slack on that, because a new person is declaring a new version of the word everyday. But what’s notable is that Chambliss defends his comment by saying that he was quoting Alan Greenspan, people. He appears still to think that this is the ’90s/early ’00s, when name-dropping Greenspan worked as a blanket defense against criticism or, more importantly, an excuse not to learn anything about economics. This caused several problems. [YouTube]

Here is a fun parody of the beloved hopey Obama poster, but look, they made the word different! [Willamette Week]

The right wing hasn’t been able to fully brand Obama as a GAY yet, as they did to John Kerry (Gay Trademark: being French) and Al Gore (Gay Trademark: fucking dudes). But Obama’s trying to help them out with his new online store section called “Runway to Change,” which features fancy clothes from elitist fashion designers that you can buy for only… uh oh, they don’t even list the prices on the front page! What is this, RUSSIA? Never a good sign, like when you want to order lobster at a rich person’s restaurant and the menu says “Market Price,” which is a plutocrat’s term for “go away, rat hobo.” MORE »

Which is worse: MoveOn.org with a sense of humor or without one? Trick question, the answer is “nuke them all.” Here is their new “funny” ad about how a bunch of people have the Hope Disease, as embodied by a cute lil’ chicken. Will that chicken be sent to Iraq later, like baby Alex? Meh. This video is especially hilarious because it features “Shawn” from hit loser teevee show Boy Meets World. You know, “Shawn,” the one that lived with the English teacher who had a motorcycle. [YouTube, First Read]

Mean old John McCain was all, “Oh yeah, boy? Go fight The Kaiser in Nazi Germany like I did, then we’ll see who was tortured.” So Barack Obama got on a plane and went to Germany, via every other country in the world, and now he’s going to give his famous speech! We are going to liveblog it! You can tell your kids about this day, when you were at work, and Wonkette liveblogged some thing on teevee! MORE »

Here’s a new “biographical” ad from John McCain, where we learn — get this — that while a bunch of hippie anarcho-pinkist fags like 7-year-old Barack Obama spent five years mud-fucking on the AIDSy grounds of Woodstock in the 1960s, McCain was at a subprime torture hotel in Vietnam. The ad concludes with a number of inspirational messages that will surely drive voters to his corner, such as “John McCain doesn’t always tell us what we hope to hear” and “Don’t hope for a better life.” This rhetoric. We are overcome. [YouTube]

George Lucas, who created Star Wars and Raiders of the Lost Ark three decades ago and has spent all his time since then trying to ruin them, says his new hero is Barack Obama. In Japan promoting the latest Indiana Jones movie, the Lucasfilm billionaire said he loves Barry so much because “for all of us that have dreams and hope, is a hero.” (?) Lucas says he’s working on a “prequel” about when Obama’s dad was a goat-riding archaeologist on his home planet of Tatooine, where he found a bunch of dumb CGI monsters from space. The computer program Jar Jar Binks will do all the acting. [AFP]