pt hooray!
Good Job, Facebook, You Saved This Gay Dog!
An employee of a shelter in Jackson, Tennessee, writes on his or her Facebook page: This guy was signed over to RC, not bc he’s mean or bc he tears things up, but because… His owner says he’s gay! He hunched another male dog so his owner threw him away bc he refuses to have [...]
Afghanistan Jackpot! It’s Filled With Precious Metals!
If you thought Afghanistan was only profitable for opium wholesalers and the defense industry, think again! According to some convenient new geological study of the mountainous, wild land that has broken the backs of so many empires, the whole place is chock full of precious metals — $1 trillion in reserves, maybe, including “huge veins [...]
Watch Some UFC Guy Beat The Crap Out Of Brian Kilmeade!
This gets so awesome, starting around 2:30. Fox & Friends’ Brian Kilmeade thinks he’s so cool, and then SLAM, BAM, DEATH, and massive 69-ing. [YouTube]
GEORGE W. BUSH TO SAVE HAITI: Greatest fuckin’ hero ever George W. Bush has killed his father, and now he gets to be Bill Clinton’s latest ex-president pal! They will travel to Haiti to… hmm what’s a tired Bush joke thing for this… they will CLEAR ALL THE BRUSH! from Haiti’s streets. HAHAHHA, it’s what [...]
Longtime Wonkette guest editor, contributor and columnist “Princess Sparkle Pony” retired the political comedy blog of the same name, because ugh, politics is so awful. But the artist formerly known as PSP is back with a fun blog, about fun, so go bookmark it, and have some fun for once. [Peteykins' Junk Drawer]
War On Christmas Targets Tennessee
The sheeple will believe anything: “The Christmas tree at the [Tennessee] state Capitol will be replaced after being toppled by high winds overnight. The blue spruce, which had stood on Charlotte Avenue between the Capitol and Legislative Plaza, fell sometime before 4 a.m., snapping off the top, said Kenny Crowson, facilities supervisor at the Capitol.” [...]
Church With Very Discriminating Palate Will Burn Everything
We do not know too much about Jesus literature. What kind of monstrously fucked-up prude porn is in the King James Bible that grants it — and it alone, out of EVERY ITEM EVER MADE — a stay from this North Carolina church’s Hell-o-ween holocaust? Maybe it’s the action scenes.
RANDOM DEMOCRAT IN SOUTH CAROLINA GETS RICH, FOR DOING NOTHING: We have been watching the campaign donation tally since last night for Democrat Rob Miller, 2010 opponent of weird shouter guy Joe Wilson, and holy baloney. Earlier today it was $100,000, then $150,000, but according to whatever most recent e-mail whatever liberal organization just sent [...]
Hillary Clinton Goes Nuts At Some Student, In Africa
Mean old Hillary Clinton went to Africa’s Democratic Republic of the Congo today to discuss god knows what, current giraffe prices? Because it’s Africa?? And while she was taking questions in Kinshasa, some curious “Congolese university student” had the gall to “ask her for her husband’s thinking on an international financial matter.” But instead of [...]
Wingnuts Will Now Firebomb John McCain’s Town Halls, Too
John McCain, who loves town halls so much that one time last summer he ORDERED Barack Obama to appear with him at 7,000 of them (and hopefully pay for them!), has “gone librul” again, now that his own party’s official anti-health reform strategy is to piss all over his favorite “American tradition” throughout August with [...]
Michael Steele To Woo Black People With Certain Food Items
At this weekend’s Young Republicans conference, where an old racist gal was elected President, some bloggers had an opportunity to sit down with “best Republican ever” Michael Steele. Some guy asks him how he plans to bring “diverse populations” into the Republican party. Steele replies, “y’all come,” then some slob in the back says, “I’ll [...]
A Festivus Miracle: No Fannie/Freddie Foreclosures! (Until January 9)
So, uh, the economy doesn’t seem to be doing much, uh, better. The S&P 500 is back down to 1997 levels. 1997! Everybody’s losing their jobs, if they still have jobs. Some are suggesting it will not even be a Merry Christmas, and that the real (Muslim) Jesus is sort of getting a kick out [...]
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