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Tag: pt hard times

Terrified DNC Reporters Trapped Inside Filthy Butthole Murder Motels, Nation Laughs

There is a crisis, in Charlotte, that outweighs all other crises in America -- including "the gaffes" -- right now: the DNC assigned reporters to a bunch of shitty motels and they're unhappy. And how does the Democratic platform...

Rick Santorum Spending Kids’ College Money On His Funny Campaign

Rick Santorum chose a hot Tennessee BBQ joint yesterday to unveil his new campaign message: He's really poor. How poor? He's so poor, he has to run for president, the last job in America that comes with decent health...

Mitt Romney Has Worn A Garbage Bag, Just Like You

The whole world (or a few thousand people) laughed at Mitt Romney for mocking those poor NASCAR fans he encountered the other day in their plastic ponchos, telling them, "I like those fancy raincoats you bought. Really sprung for...

Fancy Rich CA Lawmaker Lady Caught Stealing From Nieman Marcus

California is a very broke-ass state, and so apparently, are its politicians: San Francisco's Democratic Assemblywoman Mary Hayashi got caught lifting a few thousand dollars' worth of merchandise from official rich person store Nieman Marcus. How very "Winona Ryder"...

With Jobs Scarce, Bounty Hunter Forced To Play Accordion For Tips

Let's see, what do you want us to post right now? Another "Nancy Pelosi says she has votes for health care but of course it's not being voted on" or "Sad Boba Fett playing accordion for tips in the...

HAROLD FORD, JUST STRUGGLIN' TO PAY THOSE WATER BILLS: "Now I've taken a 45-day unpaid leave of absence from my job at Merrill Lynch. It's not right to draw a salary when I'm out every day campaigning. Fortunately, I've...

Dow Drops 733, S&P Down 9%, Worse Since ’87 Crash

In good news, oil is back to September 2007 prices. (In bad news, gas was still $3 a gallon then, so, uhh ...) WHAT DOES IT MEAN. It means the numbers are finally coming in to back up the...

Liveblogging the Depression Town Hall Debate, Part II

If there was ever a time for an old-fashioned community meetin' at the old town hall, what with the world comin' to an end and such, that time is now, brothers and sisters. But, we can't even do a...