pt hard times
Terrified DNC Reporters Trapped Inside Filthy Butthole Murder Motels, Nation Laughs
There is a crisis, in Charlotte, that outweighs all other crises in America — including “the gaffes” — right now: the DNC assigned reporters to a bunch of shitty motels and they’re unhappy. And how does the Democratic platform address this? What about the Republican platform? Not a mention, proving once and for all that [...]
Rick Santorum Spending Kids’ College Money On His Funny Campaign
Rick Santorum chose a hot Tennessee BBQ joint yesterday to unveil his new campaign message: He’s really poor. How poor? He’s so poor, he has to run for president, the last job in America that comes with decent health insurance. How poor? He’s so poor, he makes many hundreds of thousands of dollars per year [...]
Mitt Romney Has Worn A Garbage Bag, Just Like You
The whole world (or a few thousand people) laughed at Mitt Romney for mocking those poor NASCAR fans he encountered the other day in their plastic ponchos, telling them, “I like those fancy raincoats you bought. Really sprung for the big bucks.” Why didn’t Mitt buy them all golden GORE-TEX rain-repellent space jackets? Does he [...]
Fancy Rich CA Lawmaker Lady Caught Stealing From Nieman Marcus
California is a very broke-ass state, and so apparently, are its politicians: San Francisco’s Democratic Assemblywoman Mary Hayashi got caught lifting a few thousand dollars’ worth of merchandise from official rich person store Nieman Marcus. How very “Winona Ryder” of her! Come on, though, just go steal something more normal for a politician, like “education” [...]
With Jobs Scarce, Bounty Hunter Forced To Play Accordion For Tips
Let’s see, what do you want us to post right now? Another “Nancy Pelosi says she has votes for health care but of course it’s not being voted on” or “Sad Boba Fett playing accordion for tips in the subway station”? EXACTLY.
HAROLD FORD, JUST STRUGGLIN’ TO PAY THOSE WATER BILLS: “Now I’ve taken a 45-day unpaid leave of absence from my job at Merrill Lynch. It’s not right to draw a salary when I’m out every day campaigning. Fortunately, I’ve still got a little NYU teaching job and some MSNBC, so for a while I think [...]
Dow Drops 733, S&P Down 9%, Worse Since ’87 Crash
In good news, oil is back to September 2007 prices. (In bad news, gas was still $3 a gallon then, so, uhh …) WHAT DOES IT MEAN. It means the numbers are finally coming in to back up the gloom. Nobody in the stores, no demand for gasoline as people have no jobs, no money, [...]
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