pt happy endings
Here Is Photo Proof That Newt Gingrich Is Finally President of Space
Well, Newt Gingrich has at last achieved his lifelong goal of conquering the void of empty space. Just look at him out there, the brave emperor of a vast, dark and lonely realm surrounded by his only true companions, some insane person in a scary-looking costume and an elephant. We just knew you could do [...]
Happy National Opt-Out Day! Go Forth and Get Groped
National Opt-Out Day is finally here! Thousands of men, women, children and stray cats are expected to refuse a TSA naked cancer chamber scan, choosing instead to be gate raped by career failures. Chief TSA Pedobear “John Pistole” says that people who love getting cancer shouldn’t opt-out, because then you won’t get cancer and also [...]
OMG THEY’RE DATING! Obama was playing matchmaker all along: “CAMBRIDGE (WBZ) ― Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates and Cambridge police Sergeant James Crowley were spotted at a pub in Cambridge Wednesday night. The owner of ‘River Gods’ told WBZ the two sat in a booth together and talked for about an hour.” Who slipped whom [...]
Five Years After ‘Gay American’ Scandal, McGreevey Just Some Christian Dude
BLAST YOU JIM McGREEVEY. Once upon a time the former governor of New Jersey was so funny, with his exotic “gay American” ethnicity and his alleged sexyhot TGI Friday’s Three-for-Alls with his wife and another dude. But now he is just some nice seminary student trying to help ex-cons re-enter the workforce, and you can’t [...]
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