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  grumpy old men

Mean Old Alan Simpson Not Done Yelling At Republicans

Here is the thing about the newest RINO, former Alan Simpson: back when he was Wyoming’s lone Congressman and then its senator, he was about as conservative as Republicans got — save a Jesse Helms here and an old Strom there. It’s not like he was ever Linc Chaffee, you dig? And now he’s so old and mean to the poor GOP, calling them out for being batshit aggressive and (simultaneously) giant pussies afraid of Grover Norquist. He’s a fun get, is what we’re saying. [NewsBusters] Read more on Mean Old Alan Simpson Not Done Yelling At Republicans…
  grumpy old men

The Refuterer: Margaret Thatcher Was Not Actually Ronald Reagan’s Secretary

ConservativeOutcry.net has our number, along with a new feature, “Wonkette Refuted,” responding to a “randomly chosen” article from Your Wonkette! The first victim? GOP To Ronald Reagan’s Secretary: Pay Those Taxes Harder! Unfortunately, this self-described “group of old men lamenting the destruction of the nation” seems to be unfamiliar with how the actual process of refuting is done. Since there are so many refutes in this very excellent and soundly argued article (2.5), we will simply never be able to address them all, and will have to mostly limit ourselves to their primary “refute” from Old Man Rooster, concerning the picture accompanying the article, as well as the “hover tag” (fancy internet speak, don’t worry about it): First, I think it should be noted that picture accompanying the piece is of Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher, not Reagan and his secretary as one is led to believe when hovering over it with a mouse. Can’t even get the picture right? Read more on The Refuterer: Margaret Thatcher Was Not Actually Ronald Reagan’s Secretary…
  grumpy old men

McCain Wanted Vinegar Joe Lieberman For Veep

Here is the story of how John McCain picked his running mate: after Barack Obama selected Joe Biden instead of Hillary Clinton, McCain went on a six-day Nyquil bender and at the end of it slurred, “Get me one of them wimmins.” He had always had his heart set on another salty warmonger like himself: Joe Lieberman. But conservatives hated Joe Lieberman for being an abortionist, and there just wasn’t enough room on one ticket for such a terrifying abundance of old man cheeks. Read more on McCain Wanted Vinegar Joe Lieberman For Veep…
  grumpy old men

Nasty McCain Now Just Yelling At People To Buy His Books

Civil War veteran John McCain served his country with “honor,” but he has no idea what “honor” even means! In a hilarious Q&A with TIME Magazine — hilarious because he’s just barking “Get off my lawn!” at the poor reporters — McCain is asked a simple, boring, “just quote your stump speech” question, and he goes absolutely crazy. Read more on Nasty McCain Now Just Yelling At People To Buy His Books…
  grumpy old men

McCain Campaign Bravely Attacks America’s Love of Famous People

John McCain has squeezed every possible bit of fame and wealth from his heroic plane crash 40 years ago, so he’s super angry about how Barack Obama is also a political celebrity who has also written best-sellers and became famous for something that happened 40 years ago (His birth). This is why the McCain campaign has boldly made a shitty commercial with pictures of Britney Spears from back when Bob Dole was doing Viagra ads with the forgotten teen starlet. Being popular is scary! Read more on McCain Campaign Bravely Attacks America’s Love of Famous People…