pt grumpy old men

Wonkers, someone has a sad, and it is Rick Perry. Why is he sad? Cause HE AIN’T GOT NO ICE CREAM. (We believe the credit for the above should go to @eastsidekate.) Can you help Rick Perry, Wonkers? Hahaha, just kidding, of course you cannot. Rick Perry is beyond help, and also a picture of […]

Here is the thing about the newest RINO, former Alan Simpson: back when he was Wyoming’s lone Congressman and then its senator, he was about as conservative as Republicans got — save a Jesse Helms here and an old Strom there. It’s not like he was ever Linc Chaffee, you dig? And now he’s so […] has our number, along with a new feature, “Wonkette Refuted,” responding to a “randomly chosen” article from Your Wonkette! The first victim? GOP To Ronald Reagan’s Secretary: Pay Those Taxes Harder! Unfortunately, this self-described “group of old men lamenting the destruction of the nation” seems to be unfamiliar with how the actual process of […]

Here is the story of how John McCain picked his running mate: after Barack Obama selected Joe Biden instead of Hillary Clinton, McCain went on a six-day Nyquil bender and at the end of it slurred, “Get me one of them wimmins.” He had always had his heart set on another salty warmonger like himself: […]

Civil War veteran John McCain served his country with “honor,” but he has no idea what “honor” even means! In a hilarious Q&A with TIME Magazine — hilarious because he’s just barking “Get off my lawn!” at the poor reporters — McCain is asked a simple, boring, “just quote your stump speech” question, and he […]

John McCain has squeezed every possible bit of fame and wealth from his heroic plane crash 40 years ago, so he’s super angry about how Barack Obama is also a political celebrity who has also written best-sellers and became famous for something that happened 40 years ago (His birth). This is why the McCain campaign […]