As periodic as the Indian monsoons are the indictments of Rudy Giuliani’s best friend, Bernie Kerik. He was nearly made the Secretary of Homeland Security in 2004, but then he had to withdraw his nomination on account of “nanny problems,” which is DC slang for “a closet so full of skeletons and crookery that he should rent out a storage unit, paid for by unsavory corporate interests.” MORE »

According to ancient tradition, the Staten Island Groundhog bit Mayor Michael Bloomberg today, guaranteeing another six years of brutal financial collapse. Charles G. Hogg (R-Staten Island) attacked the New York mayor during a satanic ritual held each February 2 in opposition to the Christian celebration of Groundhog Day, in the Amish hamlet of Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. MORE »

After this spring’s “God Damn America” ugliness, Barack Obama managed somehow, amazingly, to keep his former pastor stuffed away in a spider hole for the next what, six months? So hurrah, Reverend Jeremiah Wright has surfaced once again to complain that the media quoted his sermons out of context. While this is true, it will be entertaining to see how the media now takes his complaints out of context. MORE »