pt gross

Well this is gross and awful. Larry Klayman, who made his bones with Judicial Watch, which was constantly suing Bill Clinton every time he sneezed (with his penis), and who most recently has been writing for WND and representing totally rad heavy metal children’s entertainer Bradlee Dean, may have sexually abused his own children! Ha? […]

How is Rick Santorum keeping the nation’s headline writers amused this week? Oh, the usual: cumming, blasts, and the reliable laugh provided by his actual name, “Santorum.” Why won’t Rick Santorum respect American family values and stop being the nation’s vulgar, childish joke?

We will post some favorites soon. No one has missed anything; it took 30 minutes to get through introductions.

In other, non-election (?) news from West Virginia, this apparently happened: According to the complaint, Danny and Watson told Mellinger that Melissa came to the apartment intoxicated, asked each of them to perform a sexual act on her and took off her pants and underwear, which Mellinger observed lying on the floor at her feet. […]

And now you know the dirty thoughts of an old Mormon senator from Nevada. [CNN via Wonkette sex researcher Monsieur Grumpe]

Have you read the Wall Street Journal‘s review of Andrew Young’s book THE POLITICIAN about John Edwards yet?? It’s not really a review so much as a “check out all of these fucked up things John Edwards did while running for president” laundry list. +1, Wall Street Journal.

Ooh la la! TIME magazine’s president of sadness, Mark Halperin, appears to be having the whack of his life right now, reading Sarah Palin’s book. Or at least someone Photoshopped to look like Mark Halperin is! (Fred Thompson??) What is the fake masturbating Mark Halperin/Fred Thompson computer robot discovering?

Much like her political cousin Gordon Brown, Alaskan anger bear Sarah Palin loves to slather on the makeup with a trowel. But when she finally takes it off at the end of a hard night’s twitterin’, the results are NOT what’s best for Alaska.

For the past four years, a bunch of employees at the famous Burr Oak Cemetery in Chicago have been digging up bodies, throwing them in the trash — not even recycling! — and reselling the plots for exorbitant sums totaling $300,000. The cemetery is now a crime scene, because apparently Capitalism is illegal now? In […]

Wonkette new media operative “Will C.” points out the very tech-savvy Washington Post coverage of a shooting. Liveblogging, Twittering, videos of unemployed chicks singing in the bathtub about murder, it’s all there. Things haven’t been this exciting since the midnight launch of Windows 95. [Washington Post]

Republican operative Ralph Nader is always plotting against the Democrats, so now he’s back with the explosive charges that slimy rum-swigging scam artist Terry McAuliffe offered the Nader campaign some money — maybe fifty bucks? — to stay out of tough states in the 2004 presidential election. And how’d that work out? Well, the Democrats […]

The store Walgreens has PULLED this insane Barack Obama Chia Pet from its shelves, and now 200,000 of them are simply sitting in a warehouse. Apparently customers complained that the beige Obama head with green hair was RACIST against black people and junk. At least that’s what this article is implying? Or maybe the complainers […]

GROSS  2:47 pm April 7, 2009

DC Is Also Gay-Marriagey, Maybe

by Jim Newell

Too bad there are no Gays in Washington D.C. (HEY-O!), because now they can go get gay married in New England or Iowa, come back to Washington D.C., and have that gay marriage legally recognized! (It will be like the Trail of Tears.) Because the D.C. City Council approved a measure “to recognize same-sex marriages […]

Republican Congressman Steve LaTourette today: “Ross Perot, when he ran for president in 1992, talked about the giant sucking sound. Well, today there’s another giant sucking sound going on in Washington, D.C. And that’s the tightening of sphincters on both ends of Pennsylvania Avenue as people are having to explain who put into the stimulus […]

Hey John Edwards, want to debate Karl Rove in San Francisco for some reason? Sure why the hell not! That’s what’s going on today in San Francisco, where the two are engaging in a discussion about the economy at a meeting of commercial bankers. No Cameras. This is only Edwards’ second appearance since admitting that […]