Tag Archives: pt gross

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Rick Santorum Knows Fetuses Are Cuddle Buddies, Not ‘Medical Research’

I did not do research on that fetus!
I did not do research on that fetus! Ooh, Rick Santorum said a ZING! at one of the idiots he’s running against, Ben Carson, because that’s how he’s going to get the Republican nomination, by yipping at the other loser candidates like an underfoot Pomeranian. He’s ankle-biting Carson, because back in Carson’s doctor days, he did all sorts of fetus parts research. If Santorum were a doctor (LOL), would HE do fetus parts research? Golly gee, no way, CNN’s Chris Cuomo, how could you even suggest such a thing?! Read more on Rick Santorum Knows Fetuses Are Cuddle Buddies, Not ‘Medical Research’…
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Duggars Could Have Been Jailed For Ignoring Josh Duggar’s Three Sister-Touching Confessions

Fun-employed
In Touch Weekly is doing the journalism again, having obtained ANOTHER police report through a Freedom Of Information Act request, pertaining to young Josh Duggar’s sister touching. A lot of it rehashes what we already know, but we get a couple of new, specific details, to help us all put a fine point on how grossed out we are by this. For one thing, the report states that Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar were told not only by their daughters, but by Josh himself, on three separate occasions, that he just couldn’t stop fondling his sisters –one of whom was only five years old — in their beds at night. And his parents still waited 16 MONTHS to do anything about it, even after being told “multiple times.” The new report claims Ma and Pa were just shrugging it off all those times Josh told them, “I am so sorry, for I have fallen short and diddled your younger girl children once again.” What did they say, those “multiple times?” “Oh, Josh, we’ve told you TIME AND TIME AGAIN. The only girl you’re allowed to diddle against her will is your Christian Wife, when you are older. You’re GROUNDED from homeschool, for a week!” Read more on Duggars Could Have Been Jailed For Ignoring Josh Duggar’s Three Sister-Touching Confessions…
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Ma And Pa Duggar Still Trying To Make ALL The Babies, For Jesus

Don't you just want to confess things to them?
It would seem that Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar have taken your Wonkette’s advice, about how they need more babies, since the Muslims are going to outnumber the Christians very, very soon (55 years from now). So off to the marital bed they have been skipping, because according to their own words, they’ve been fuckin’. In a new interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network, they explained that they are SO EXCITED that their grown-up opposite-married kids are having all the babies (three this year, which is far more output than Michelle ever was able to manage when the Duggar Vagina Clown Car industry was a one-woman operation), and if The Lord is still interested, they’d love it if He would put some more Duggar babies in her babycave, via the holy rod and staff of Jim Bob: Read more on Ma And Pa Duggar Still Trying To Make ALL The Babies, For Jesus…
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Well-Known A**holes Judith Miller And James O’Keefe Discuss Why They Are The Worst

I am the worst.
Judith Miller is a failed reporter who wrote fake stories about fake WMDs in Iraq that helped get the nation boned up and ready for WAR WAR WAR! James O’Keefe is a prissy little piece of garbage who lures CNN reporters onto dildo lube boats, dresses up as Osama bin Laden and wades across the Rio Grande to prove absolutely nothing, tries to dupe people into committing voter fraud, to prove that voter fraud IS TOO a thing, and then cries like a little bitch about how everybody’s going to murder him, just for journalisming so good. Read more on Well-Known A**holes Judith Miller And James O’Keefe Discuss Why They Are The Worst…
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Blind Item! What Coupled-Up DC ‘Journalist’ Guy Is Hitting On Chicks And Then Standing Them Up?

Blind item! Gossipy thing! Drudge siren! Which blatantly coupled-up DC “journalist” guy (just kidding about the “journalist” part) is going around hitting on DC women, and then standing them up? We wonder if you will ever be able to guess. Our source, a well-educated lady employed by one of the District’s fine institutions of higher learning, was browsing at a Dupont Circle bookstore in the late afternoon when a “scruffy” guy started chatting her up. He had a certain awkward charm despite the ham-handed way he dropped the name of his employer, a prominent conservative media organ with offices nearby. Phone numbers were disclosed and later that night he popped up asking for a lunch date. Cute! Nerdy! We here at Wonkette were mildly scandalized to learn of this flirty boy’s identity since he has, by his own design, become somewhat known for having a girlfriend, who also works in DC media. We were also surprised, as might be his high-profile boss, to hear he’s taken to calling himself a “managing editor.” Read more on Blind Item! What Coupled-Up DC ‘Journalist’ Guy Is Hitting On Chicks And Then Standing Them Up?…
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Judicial Watch Founder/Clinton Nemesis Larry Klayman Might Have Touched His Children In Their Swimsuit Areas

Well this is gross and awful. Larry Klayman, who made his bones with Judicial Watch, which was constantly suing Bill Clinton every time he sneezed (with his penis), and who most recently has been writing for WND and representing totally rad heavy metal children’s entertainer Bradlee Dean, may have sexually abused his own children! Ha? Ha? Hilarious? Read more on Judicial Watch Founder/Clinton Nemesis Larry Klayman Might Have Touched His Children In Their Swimsuit Areas…
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Santorum, Cumming, Blasts … Weird Rick Still Making Headlines Gross

How is Rick Santorum keeping the nation’s headline writers amused this week? Oh, the usual: cumming, blasts, and the reliable laugh provided by his actual name, “Santorum.” Why won’t Rick Santorum respect American family values and stop being the nation’s vulgar, childish joke? Read more on Santorum, Cumming, Blasts … Weird Rick Still Making Headlines Gross…
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West Virginia Hillbillies Attempt a Sex Threesome

In other, non-election (?) news from West Virginia, this apparently happened: According to the complaint, Danny and Watson told Mellinger that Melissa came to the apartment intoxicated, asked each of them to perform a sexual act on her and took off her pants and underwear, which Mellinger observed lying on the floor at her feet. Read more on West Virginia Hillbillies Attempt a Sex Threesome…
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Which Bit To Excerpt From That Book About John Edwards…

Have you read the Wall Street Journal‘s review of Andrew Young’s book THE POLITICIAN about John Edwards yet?? It’s not really a review so much as a “check out all of these fucked up things John Edwards did while running for president” laundry list. +1, Wall Street Journal. Read more on Which Bit To Excerpt From That Book About John Edwards……
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Mark Halperin Currently Making Out With Copy Of ‘Going Rogue’

Ooh la la! TIME magazine’s president of sadness, Mark Halperin, appears to be having the whack of his life right now, reading Sarah Palin’s book. Or at least someone Photoshopped to look like Mark Halperin is! (Fred Thompson??) What is the fake masturbating Mark Halperin/Fred Thompson computer robot discovering? Read more on Mark Halperin Currently Making Out With Copy Of ‘Going Rogue’…
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The Day Sarah Palin Scraped Off Her Makeup

Much like her political cousin Gordon Brown, Alaskan anger bear Sarah Palin loves to slather on the makeup with a trowel. But when she finally takes it off at the end of a hard night’s twitterin’, the results are NOT what’s best for Alaska. Read more on The Day Sarah Palin Scraped Off Her Makeup…
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Chicago Nuts Dig Up Graveyard Bodies And Resell Plots… In Michelle Obama’s Dad’s Graveyard!

For the past four years, a bunch of employees at the famous Burr Oak Cemetery in Chicago have been digging up bodies, throwing them in the trash — not even recycling! — and reselling the plots for exorbitant sums totaling $300,000. The cemetery is now a crime scene, because apparently Capitalism is illegal now? In America? Barack Obama can basically be blamed 100% for this latest Police State crackdown, too, because his wife Michelle’s father is (was?) buried in that cemetery, making this a textbook conflict-of-interest case and an affront to hard-working people who live in small towns instead of big cities. [ABC] Read more on Chicago Nuts Dig Up Graveyard Bodies And Resell Plots… In Michelle Obama’s Dad’s Graveyard!…
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FOLLOW HOT DEATH COVERAGE @WASHINGTON POST TWITTER/BLOGS

Wonkette new media operative “Will C.” points out the very tech-savvy Washington Post coverage of a shooting. Liveblogging, Twittering, videos of unemployed chicks singing in the bathtub about murder, it’s all there. Things haven’t been this exciting since the midnight launch of Windows 95. [Washington Post] Read more on FOLLOW HOT DEATH COVERAGE @WASHINGTON POST TWITTER/BLOGS…
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Ralph Nader Says Terry McAuliffe ‘Slipperier Than an Eel In Olive Oil’

Republican operative Ralph Nader is always plotting against the Democrats, so now he’s back with the explosive charges that slimy rum-swigging scam artist Terry McAuliffe offered the Nader campaign some money — maybe fifty bucks? — to stay out of tough states in the 2004 presidential election. And how’d that work out? Well, the Democrats lost, though not because of Nader. (Hint: IT WAS KERRY & EDWARDS’ FAULT, FOR BEING AWFUL.) And now Terry’s running for governor of Virginia, what will happen?! Read more on Ralph Nader Says Terry McAuliffe ‘Slipperier Than an Eel In Olive Oil’…