Tag: pt gross

Who Wants To Hear Some Of Roger Ailes’s Pickup Lines, They Are Classy As Balls

Last week, we heard that Fox's Gretchen Carlson got shitcanned from her post-"Fox & Friends" show, "Dumb Bullshit With Gretchen Carlson But I Will Talk About Commonsense Gun Control At Least Once And Then Get Fired A Week Later,"...

Rupert Murdoch’s Ex Wendi Deng Moves On To New Tyrant: A Sex-Map Of Grossness!

Now that shriveled sex goblin Rupert Murdoch has married Texas supermodel Jerry Hall (gross), US Weekly is matchmaking for Murdoch's ex-wife, Wendi Deng (last seen writing "Wendi + Tony Blair" on her Trapper-Keeper, her name for her vagina), and...
This is what Ted Cruz looks like when he begs for money.

Is Ted Cruz Adulterous Foreign-Born Whore? Maybe!

People, we may have to issue a correction here. We reported at you this morning that Ted Cruz had, for the first time in his life, growed himself a dick. Of course, we meant that in the sense that...
Guess this makes them serious candidates.

Ben Carson Having Sleepy Orgasms About Future One-Term President Donald Trump

Guys. GUYS. Ben Carson is so excited about his presidential candidate Donald Trump, he can barely keep his eyes open! Whereas Dr. Carson usually closes his eyes when he wants a little nap or he's doing a debate, this...
And then he'll grow his beard back

Wingnut Ladygasms All Over Paul Ryan’s Beard

Have you guys caught a look at failing House Speaker Paul Ryan's new beard? It is so magnificent that a wingnut woman writer at the Federalist would like us all to know that all men should sport manly beards...

California Wingnuts Extremely Concerned About Where You Make Toilet

Some very concerned citizens and their pastors in California are very concerned about their privacy. Ya see, right now, any old persons can walk into a public restroom, drop trou, do their business -- and nobody has the right to sue 'em if the girl-wiener they're packin'...
I did not do research on that fetus!

Rick Santorum Knows Fetuses Are Cuddle Buddies, Not ‘Medical Research’

Ooh, Rick Santorum said a ZING! at one of the idiots he's running against, Ben Carson, because that's how he's going to get the Republican nomination, by yipping at the other loser candidates like an underfoot Pomeranian. He's ankle-biting...
Fun-employed

Duggars Could Have Been Jailed For Ignoring Josh Duggar’s Three Sister-Touching Confessions

In Touch Weekly is doing the journalism again, having obtained ANOTHER police report through a Freedom Of Information Act request, pertaining to young Josh Duggar's sister touching. A lot of it rehashes what we already know, but we get a couple of...
OOOH DADDY WE GET TO DO TEEVEE AGAIN!

Ma And Pa Duggar Still Trying To Make ALL The Babies, For Jesus

It would seem that Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar have taken your Wonkette's advice, about how they need more babies, since the Muslims are going to outnumber the Christians very, very soon (55 years from now). So off to...
I am the worst.

Well-Known A**holes Judith Miller And James O’Keefe Discuss Why They Are The Worst

Judith Miller is a failed reporter who wrote fake stories about fake WMDs in Iraq that helped get the nation boned up and ready for WAR WAR WAR! James O'Keefe is a prissy little piece of garbage who lures CNN...

Blind Item! What Coupled-Up DC ‘Journalist’ Guy Is Hitting On Chicks And Then Standing Them Up?

Blind item! Gossipy thing! Drudge siren! Which blatantly coupled-up DC "journalist" guy (just kidding about the "journalist" part) is going around hitting on DC women, and then standing them up? We wonder if you will ever be able to...

Judicial Watch Founder/Clinton Nemesis Larry Klayman Might Have Touched His Children In Their Swimsuit Areas

Well this is gross and awful. Larry Klayman, who made his bones with Judicial Watch, which was constantly suing Bill Clinton every time he sneezed (with his penis), and who most recently has been writing for WND and representing...

Santorum, Cumming, Blasts … Weird Rick Still Making Headlines Gross

How is Rick Santorum keeping the nation's headline writers amused this week? Oh, the usual: cumming, blasts, and the reliable laugh provided by his actual name, "Santorum." Why won't Rick Santorum respect American family values and stop being the...

Tea Party Presidential Twitter Debate: Watch The Clowns Hump Each Other

// We will post some favorites soon. No one has missed anything; it took 30 minutes to get through introductions.

West Virginia Hillbillies Attempt a Sex Threesome

In other, non-election (?) news from West Virginia, this apparently happened: According to the complaint, Danny and Watson told Mellinger that Melissa came to the apartment intoxicated, asked each of them to perform a sexual act on her and took...

Harry Reid Tells America About His Sexytime Fantasy

And now you know the dirty thoughts of an old Mormon senator from Nevada.