Tag Archives: pt goodbye forever

  goodbye forever

Newt Gingrich Drops Out To Spend More Time With His Creditors

Newt Gingrich was just on the teevee talking about the moon, jobs, Kaiser Wilhelm, Mitt Romney, Barack Obama, cocaine and methamphetamine, amnesia, his grandchildren, Ellis the Elephant, dropping out of the Republican presidential nominating contest, and everything else he has ever thought about for half-a-second since 1968. He has had a marvelous run. What now? Aside from harassing college students nationwide, Newt will be spending some lovely time with his creditors, whom he owes millions of dollars. Read more on Newt Gingrich Drops Out To Spend More Time With His Creditors…
  goodbye forever

Glenn Beck Says Farewell In Usual Crazy Way

“I love philosophy,” says Glenn Beck in his goodbye show. “To paraphrase Martin Luther King, this is the dumbest show on the air!” Goodbye, Glenn. We’ll, uh, be waiting for the next nut to show up on Fox News. Read more on Glenn Beck Says Farewell In Usual Crazy Way…
  goodbye forever

Obama Replaces Gossipy National Security Czar

Apparently this General Jones fellow just could not stop gossiping with Bob Woodward about how much Obama sucks at war. And Jones was planning on leaving anyway because he is a crybaby so Obama said “hey, the sooner the better. Get out.” Read more on Obama Replaces Gossipy National Security Czar…
  goodbye forever

Betrayed Sanford Spokesman Joel Sawyer’s Last Day On The Job

Remember the month of June, the month that happened a couple of months ago? The very best part of June was when a certain lovestruck Southern governor departed for a five-day solo Father’s Day hike in the woods and returned warbling about the Argentinian sparkin’ thing, much to the embarrassment of his spokesman, who had been assuring people he was on the Appalachian Trail. Read more on Betrayed Sanford Spokesman Joel Sawyer’s Last Day On The Job…
  goodbye forever

Sprightly Forest Creature QUITS Latest Race Against Bachmann

Ancient mysterious woodland elf Elwyn Tinklenberg, Jesus-envoy to Minnesota’s freshwater meth hellscape, has dropped his latest (third?) bid to kill Michele Bachmann, politically, in 2010. He enjoyed a few days as America’s #1 guy in 2008 when it looked like he could’ve picked off Bachmann in the eleventh hour after she went nuts, as usual, but in an instance when people were actually paying attention. But fear not, liberal sallies! The chivalrous Elwyn quitteth only to avoid an ugly primary fight with a certain Tarryl Clark, who is… let’s see here… oooooh, a lady-person. Hello miss lady who could easily be Michele Bachmann’s younger sister! [TPM] Read more on Sprightly Forest Creature QUITS Latest Race Against Bachmann…