Tag: pt goodbye forever

Newt Gingrich Drops Out To Spend More Time With His Creditors

Newt Gingrich was just on the teevee talking about the moon, jobs, Kaiser Wilhelm, Mitt Romney, Barack Obama, cocaine and methamphetamine, amnesia, his grandchildren, Ellis the Elephant, dropping out of the Republican presidential nominating contest, and everything else he...

Glenn Beck Says Farewell In Usual Crazy Way

"I love philosophy," says Glenn Beck in his goodbye show. "To paraphrase Martin Luther King, this is the dumbest show on the air!" Goodbye, Glenn. We'll, uh, be waiting for the next nut to show up on Fox News....

Obama Replaces Gossipy National Security Czar

Apparently this General Jones fellow just could not stop gossiping with Bob Woodward about how much Obama sucks at war. And Jones was planning on leaving anyway because he is a crybaby so Obama said "hey, the sooner the...

Betrayed Sanford Spokesman Joel Sawyer’s Last Day On The Job

Remember the month of June, the month that happened a couple of months ago? The very best part of June was when a certain lovestruck Southern governor departed for a five-day solo Father's Day hike in the woods and...

Sprightly Forest Creature QUITS Latest Race Against Bachmann

Ancient mysterious woodland elf Elwyn Tinklenberg, Jesus-envoy to Minnesota's freshwater meth hellscape, has dropped his latest (third?) bid to kill Michele Bachmann, politically, in 2010. He enjoyed a few days as America's #1 guy in 2008 when it looked...