We’re a day late to this one and have no time for long, meandering first paragraphs about nothing. Here’s the deal: The Politico has written a pornographic feature about how it wants to fuck Peter Orszag, Grover Norquist, Christopher Hitchens, Chuck Todd, Rahm Emanuel, Eric Cantor, and Dr. Congressman Ron Paul, in that order, maybe. MORE »

DRAMATIC IRONY, SPECIFICALLY: We saw this tease on the Washington Post website’s front page fifteen minutes ago and are mentally and physically unable to click through. The headline and subhead have transfixed us with this weird numbing sensation. “Symbolism” and “irony” and “Too big to succeed”! How do these fantastical terms and wordplays relate to giving this huge company a bunch of $$$? We must click to find out! Wait. No! We musn’t. It’s better this way, just knowing that the symbolism and irony are out there, somewhere. [WP]