JOHN McCAIN’S TERRIFYING REALIZATION: “Over 50 million people voted for me and Sarah Palin — mostly for Sarah Palin.” [Washington Independent]

McCAIN IS AN ASSHOLE: Last night on the Senate floor, Barack Obama walked over to greet John McCain and shake his hand. “McCain shook it, but with a ‘go away’ look that no one could miss. He tried his best not to even look at Obama.” [CQ Politics]

Our favorite Washington Post old crab Richard Cohen has put together another gem today, following his recent coot-ish rambles about tattoos, his eyesight and, of course, uppity Negroes. Today’s topic: books! He is in Boulder in a bookstore, with the books that the children don’t give a hoot about anymore! They are buying them on this “Amazon” internet page, or not at all, because they are terrible, bwah bwah bwah. MORE »

John McCain’s depressing tour of places where he used to be young has also reminded America of his high-school nickname, “McNasty.” Even before he was a brain-damaged old psychopath, McCain was a mean, angry creep. Let’s remember all the times Walnuts went nuts in public, so we can prepare for the inevitable campaign-trail explosion that will end his campaign to be America’s Oldest President. MORE »

Hey, Andy Rooney’s not dead! Who knew? Also, he’s not happy with the all these ethnic-sounding people running for president. Barack Obama, Rudy Giuliani … jeez, this is supposed to be America, not the freakin’ Rainbow Coalition. You know who had a good, white-sounding name? Adolph Hitler, that’s who.