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  gay old party

Wingnut Victory: Romney’s Gay Aide Successfully Bullied Out of His Job

Your Wonkette has been too lazy to filter through the daily deluge of homophobic outrage pouring ever forth from the most ferociously closeted segment of the Internet to sift for the conservative hollering about Mitt Romney’s hiring of an openly gay campaign adviser to advise him on that most holy dominion of political manliness, forever wars. Apparently the yelling was very loud! So now the adviser, Richard Grenell, has resigned because Mitt Romney responded to the yells with a forceful decision to simply hide Grenell from the press and hope for it go away. Read more on Wingnut Victory: Romney’s Gay Aide Successfully Bullied Out of His Job…
  gay old party

Gay Republicans — OPENLY Gay, We Mean — Very Pleased With Romney/Paul/Huntsman Three-Way

While being an openly gay Republican seems about as sane as carrying a nail-studded two-by-four around so you can mutilate yourself on the half-hour, the “Log Cabin Republicans” continue to be an actual thing. And they have put out a statement about tonight’s exciting New Hampshire primary results. They’re quite pleased with the results! Read more on Gay Republicans — OPENLY Gay, We Mean — Very Pleased With Romney/Paul/Huntsman Three-Way…
  gay old party

Mississippi Mayor Outed After Visiting Gay Sex Shop With City Credit Card

Merry Dickcember, one and all! How has this week’s garden-variety self-loathing closeted Republican politician managed to out himself? Ha ha, the headline sort of gives it away, but meet Greg Davis, the mayor of Southaven, Mississippi who went on a taxpayer-funded shopping spree to the tune of $170,000 in booze, fancy meals and a TRIP TO A GAY SEX TOY STORE, in Canada. The sexytime freebies lasted until a band of fun-hating auditors noticed there were, uh, five hundred pages of receipts for the mayor’s extracurricular activities and decided to have a peek at his credit card expenditures. Shit! Right, so yeah, let’s start again: meet Greg Davis, a formerly-closeted gay dude who has never heard of cash. Read more on Mississippi Mayor Outed After Visiting Gay Sex Shop With City Credit Card…
  gay old party

And Now This Week’s ‘Republican Caught In Gay Sex 4 Meth Sting’ Story

You were so sure this headline was finally at long last going to be referring to Rick Perry, but still no dice. (Seriously, though, WHEN???) This time it’s America’s one-time Sheriff of the Year Patrick Sullivan, the Republican former top law enforcement official of Arapahoe County, Colorado, who is in trouble for “the usual” with these closeted old right-wing queens, trying to get hold of some hottt peen action in exchange for meth. And now everyone in Arapahoe County will pretend to be shocked that somehow a staunch Republican hater of even banal measures like medical marijuana legalization is secretly about as committed to upholding drug laws when there’s a gay hooker in the vicinity as Ted Haggard is to his straight Jesus. Read more on And Now This Week’s ‘Republican Caught In Gay Sex 4 Meth Sting’ Story…
  gay old party

Maine GOP Warns Voter Registration Is Evil Homosexual Plot

The loony hillbillies of the Maine GOP have had a hard time convincing residents to back them in their opposition to a statewide referendum measure that would permit Election Day voter registration, so their latest strategy has them running ads ominously informing the citizenry IN SCREAMING ALL CAPS that anyone who supports the measure, known as “Question 1,” is in fact a flaming member of Team Homo, because voting rights are super gay. Real heterosexuals hate democracy. Read more on Maine GOP Warns Voter Registration Is Evil Homosexual Plot…
  gay old party

Half of Republicans Don’t Know What ‘G.O.P.’ Means

It’s time for the greatest scientific barometer of America’s intellect, the Vanity Fair/CBS News poll of dingbat potpourri questions thrown at a representative sample of Americans who haven’t had their phone lines turned off by Verizon yet. What did our pollsters ask this time? To be weird, instead of asking a series of completely random questions, they focused on “Things Republicans Don’t Know.” For example, you’d think Republicans might know what “GOP” stands for, as they’ve all got those “GOProud” stickers on their repo’d Ford Expeditions. But they have no idea, and most probably pronounce it as a monosyllabic grunt, to ask for another microwaved styrofoam plate of CostCo “rib-meat bitelets.” This may be the best survey of America yet! Read more on Half of Republicans Don’t Know What ‘G.O.P.’ Means…
  gay old party

Rick Santorum Pleads In Vain With Google To Fix His ‘Google Problem’

Victimiest most victimized ever victim Rick “The President of Victims” Santorum has had a rough time carrying out his life’s mission as an unrepentant homophobic bigot, because his consistent dehumanizing attacks on gay people forced them to start a gay jihad against him (funny how war works, isn’t it, Rick?) that makes filthy results pop up top with any Google search of his name or presidential campaign. Most everyone knows this and finds it amusing and would probably forget about it eventually, except that Rick Santorum keeps bringing it up. Now he is appealing directly to the gods of Google to “fix” this with the helpful suggestion that Google would voluntarily censor legal Internet search results if a crazy liberal politician asked them to. That’ll win ‘em over, Rick! Read more on Rick Santorum Pleads In Vain With Google To Fix His ‘Google Problem’…
  gay old party

Meet Anthony Weiner’s Gay Puerto Rican Republican Doppelganger

Gay Republican Anthony Weiner En Español is the latest GOP politician so far this week (give it a few minutes?) caught photographing his butt and putting the pictures on a highly public website available for all to see and investigate. Puerto Rican Senator Roberto Arango, as he is known with his clothes on, uploaded various nude photos of himself to gay cruising app Grindr, including one (NSFW) that is…oh, hm. How do we put this? Did we just give it away? Let’s just say, delicately, that he is doing what we will call from now on “the Republican handshake.” Read more on Meet Anthony Weiner’s Gay Puerto Rican Republican Doppelganger…
  gay old party

Fox News Refuses to Let Gay Candidate Join Iowa Presidential Debate

There is some other GOP presidential candidate we never actually even heard of named Fred Karger, but he is according to some poll tied with Tim Pawlenty, which feels about right. Karger is also one of the vanishingly rare openly gay Republicans people hear about on quiet days when the wind is still, which means Fox News will not be allowing him to participate in their upcoming Iowa presidential debate. WHY EVER NOT?? Here, let us make a simile: showing a gay on Fox News who might “do something gay” like pull some kind of gay guerrilla move like blowing a kiss to Rick Santorum or mention gays don’t deserve the death penalty or WORSE YET MENTION THAT GAY MARRIAGE IS IRRELEVANT TO THE ECONOMY, on screen, live, is equal to the kind of terror Fox News debate producers feel when they imagine an out-of-left-field Michele Bachmann – Herman Cain french kiss. Read more on Fox News Refuses to Let Gay Candidate Join Iowa Presidential Debate…
  gay old party

Homosexual Mafia Infiltrating, Destroying Herman Cain Campaign

Buried halfway through this rumor-heavy Politico INSIDE SCOOP about the implosion of Herman Cain’s campaign is one particularly fun piece of total hearsay alleging that Cain’s Iowa staff is crumbling “after weeks of swirling rumors between Cain’s staff and volunteers in the Hawkeye State accusing each other of affairs, homosexuality and professional misconduct.” Yes, why hadn’t we thought of that before, it was the homosexuals, ruining everyone’s political careers again. So now the FBI will probably have to go investigate before this turns into another one of those gay Ronald Reagan Lake Tahoe sex parties from the sixties that made everyone think about naked Jack Kemp when he was Bob Dole’s running mate. If it hasn’t already, that is.  Read more on Homosexual Mafia Infiltrating, Destroying Herman Cain Campaign…
  gay old party

Republicans Weirdly Silent About NY Gay Marriage OK’d By Republicans

According to the Republican Party of America circa 2008, the biggest threat to America was a couple of nice gay people who live together and share all their expenses also being able to visit each other in the hospital, thanks to “gay marriage.” But now that New York State Republicans have approved Gay Marriage, the national GOP is suspiciously silent. Maybe they were all gay all along? Well yeah, but they are still supposed to be against any legislation that was fair to gays overall. Have Republicans all turned “Cuomosexual?” Read more on Republicans Weirdly Silent About NY Gay Marriage OK’d By Republicans…
  gay old party

TIME Magazine Notes Mitt Romney Is Now Gay

What will Mitt Romney do to win the Republicans’ support in 2012? Literally anything. According to important political blog TIME Magazine, Romney is “coming out” at CPAC. It’s gonna be a sausage fest! And don’t worry, Ann: It’s not cheating if it’s up the butt. [The Note via Wonkette Operative “Andrew B.”] Read more on TIME Magazine Notes Mitt Romney Is Now Gay…
  gay old party

RNC Will Just Keep This Loser Mike Duncan (Or Maybe Not, Steele Leads In 3rd Ballot!)

Tipster “Matt L.” just sent us the First Ballot results from the exciting Republican National Committee voting for a new chairman to revive the doomed party! And let’s see, current loser RNC chair Mike Duncan has 52 votes, hapless Maryland loser and “moderate black Republican” Michael Steele got 46, South Carolina segregationist Katon Dawson has 28, Michigan GOP loser Saul Anuzis got 22, and “social-conservative black Republican” Ken Blackwell, who couldn’t even deliver Ohio to McCain/Palin, has 20 votes. UPDATE: Steele and Duncan are now tied! UPDATE: Oh shit, Steele in the lead! Read more on RNC Will Just Keep This Loser Mike Duncan (Or Maybe Not, Steele Leads In 3rd Ballot!)…
  gay old party

Anti-Gay Alabama A.G. Caught Being Gay

This may come as a shock, but a prominent anti-homosexual Republican attorney general has apparently been caught having homosexual sex intercourse with his homosexual gay male assistant. Bonus: The dude’s wife caught him, in their bed. This is the rumor that the AG’s office has officially denied, so now of course everybody is spilling the sordid details. Read more on Anti-Gay Alabama A.G. Caught Being Gay…