Frozen Treats: Praise be Barack Obama, a new do-it-yourself frozen yogurt shop has opened in Downtown DC! Fro-yo lovers everywhere rejoice! [Fro.Zen.Yo via Penn Quarter Living] MORE »

Famous rodent prognosticator Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow this morning, and, if you believe that rodents are savvy weather predictors (check), then we’re in for at least 6 more weeks of fun, freezing winter weather. Joy! In light of this glorious fact, we continue our series of “It’s super cold outside, life is hard, America has no money, what’s so wrong with stealing Haitian babies for fun, so who needs… a glass of wine?” MORE »

Wednesday, January 27: The State of Union is on tonight, hooray! What a great excuse to drink, drink, drink as Obama promises tax cuts for everyone and health care for no one! Ventnor Sports Cafe is hosting a drinking game watch party tonight. The bar opens at 5:30PM. [Ventnor Sports Cafe] MORE »

Thursday, January 21: As the Nation welcomes naked Scott Brown to his seat as President of the Teabaggers, we say goodbye to the fine folks from the Jersey Shore. Tabaq Bistro will recreate the debauchery of these less-than-human characters by showing the finale tomorrow on big screen teevees and providing plenty of drink specials, so everyone will be in fine form to beat each other up on the dance floor… [Tabaq Bistro DC] MORE »

Today, January 6: We used to turn to alcohol to wash away the misery that is the 9-5, but now it’s all about the cupcake. Sticky Fingers Bakery in Columbia Heights is offering a cupcake happy hour the first Wednesday of every month. All cupcakes are just $2 apiece. [Sticky Fingers] MORE »

EGGNOG is made with milk, eggs, sugar and alcohol. It’s what people drink this time of year to celebrate having nothing to do and maybe because Jesus drank it too? Drinking eggnog out of the carton is wrong, however, and will not be tolerated in the fine District of Columbia, where we hope Senators die and wave loaded guns at kids, and sometimes shoot kids. Where to get the good shit in DC: MORE »

Boozing: The Holiday Sober Ride program is back! Nightly from 10PM to 6AM from now until Friday, January 1 taxis will be available to take your drunk ass home, free of charge. Now who loves Christmas? MORE »

Some restaurants in DC serve food that really can only be described in those words, words like “mouth-watering,” “delectable,” “scrumptious,” and “heavenly.” DC is not home to many of these, BUT restaurants that earn those words — like 1789 Restaurant — will offer you the best meal you may ever eat in your entire life. MORE »

Thursday, December 10: The Washington Post may be shutting down bureaus and upping its price (ha ha, it’s dying), BUT it’s still hosting happy hours. The Post’s Gurus host their monthly Going Out Guide Happy Hour tomorrow from 6PM-8PM at Buffalo Billiards, and Santa will even be making a guest appearance. MORE »

Today, December 2: In important beer happenings news, Granville Moore’s is pairing Belgian and Belgian-style beers with fried Frog’s Legs, Ostrich Fillets and other fine foods for a special beer dinner. Remember, everything tastes better with good beer, even Frogs. MORE »

Thursday, November 26:We approve of all post-Thanksgiving-dinner-with-Mom-and-Dad drinking needs. The Washington Post has a lineup of where you can find the bars open on Thanksgiving night.  MORE »

Cupcakes On Wheels: DC now has its very own cupcake truck, which is essential because you should never, ever have to walk far to buy a cupcake. Or Indian food. Or Korean food. Or whatever else you can buy from a truck in DC. [Curbside Cupcakes] MORE »

Here is your bit of foreign wine news, from the international country of France: the French like wine. They’re also governed by millions of strange laws, laws that allow them to protest protesting, being fired, and other privileged things. There is a special wine, Beaujolais Nouveau, and, according to said strange French laws, new batches of the wine cannot be served until the third Thursday in November, which is in like one or three days! Let’s celebrate. MORE »

Thursday, November 12: For their monthly happy hour, the Going Out Gurus are heading to the one of the sleaziest places in the District, Russia House. Get ready to drink a lot of vodka, and to eat free food, that is, if there’s still any available. [Going Out Gurus Happy Hour] MORE »