December 6, 2013
pt food/booze news!
Saturday, February 26: Though you may prefer to spend your Saturday nights at a Beer Palace, sequestered in darkness and glazed in booze, there’s nothing wrong with doing something a little bit different this Saturday. Like learning about vaginas, for charity! V-Day D.C. will be performing The Vagina Monologues Saturday at 3PM and again at [...]
Thursday, February 17: Why should Valentine’s Day only be one day, when the holiday can bring joy/ money all month long? Now February is chocolate month, and this Thursday is “Chocolate Lover’s Day,” but at least it means free chocolate: Urbana, Firefly, and other Kimpton Hotels will be giving out complimentary chocolates and wine on [...]
Just eat less?: News alert: Because we are a nation of fat slobs, our government would like us to drink less sugar filled poison and stop eating spoonfuls of nitrates, lard and cat litter, even if it tastes good. Which in D.C. translates to, maybe only have bacon covered donuts once a month? The superb [...]
Wednesday, January 26: SOTU hangover? You want more Facebook and salmon? Alcohol is known to breed innovation, so GET OUT OF YOUR HAMMOCK and start drinking. Try Recessions, where drinks are half off every week night from 5-8PM. And thanks to D.C.’s inability to handle snow, the government would like you to head there right now. [...]
Wednesday, January 19: The news that America is fated to become a Nation of Whores couldn’t have come at a better time for Washingtonians: Tonight you can attend the “How To Be Successful at Internet Dating” event at MadHatter. There you will learn how to maximize your online dating presence, the mysterious art of “meeting [...]
Wednesday, December 22: The best thing about spending the days before Christmas in D.C. is that no one is here (including those who probably should still be here, to pass bills and such). The city is so pleasant and empty, making it the ideal time to go bars that would normally be teeming with people. [...]
Thursday, December 16: Generation Obama-D.C. seems to have missed the part where Obama turned Republican and told his minions that he no longer loves them: At what could be the least merry holiday party EVER, they will be gathering to celebrate Progress (pass out resumes) at Hawk ‘n Dove on Thursday night from 6-9PM. $5. [...]
Wednesday, December 8: Obama loved the D.C. restaurant scene and would devour our rich-people hamburgers and gourmet junk food whenever he could. But just because the new Obama doesn’t want to have anything more to do with the silly intellectuals who came to D.C. for him and created a city in his image doesn’t mean [...]
Wednesday, December 1: Because last week an ancient ex-Nazi declared that condoms are kinda sorta okay, this could very well be the BEST World AIDS Day ever. Congratulate AIDS on another successful year of causing much death by attending a cocktail benefit for the Whitman-Walker Clinic at the wine bar Urbana. Admission is $10 and [...]
Thursday, November 18 through Sunday, November 21: Provided you survive your touchy-feely airport experience, a week from today you will be eating cranberries from a can and watching teevee footage of large floats wandering the streets of New York, to give thanks for smallpox blankets and other Important things. Prepare for the Fun that is [...]
Hot Dogs: What’s the newest trend to come to D.C. that’s just as unhealthy as Slim Jims and Big Gulps, but that’s become gourmet-y and so acceptable? Hot dogs! There are now TWO, yes two, restaurants in D.C. that serve specialty hot dogs, and the newest one serves bacon wrapped all-beef hot dogs, deep fried [...]
Friday, November 5: By December, hopefully, the country will have healed and Emo Obama will be willing to get up off the White House couch and go eat hamburgers somewhere so Washingtonians can gawk at him. Who knows. Either way, he and his family should be at the National Christmas Tree Lighting ceremony on December [...]
Pie: Recognizing that serving food out of an actual building gets you nowhere in D.C., Dangerously Delicious Pies will soon be serving their pies from the back of a moving vehicle. But should you be okay with eating pie under a roof, Monday-Thursday from 4PM-close, from their physical location on H Street NE, they offer [...]
Wednesday, October 7: If you’re not doing anything tonight, Riley is insistent that you come to the Rock and Roll Hotel to watch him sing “I Touch Myself” while he waterboards his face with vodka and devours meatballs in honor of Delaware Masturbation Witch Christine O’Donnell. For charity of course!