pt food/booze news!
Events For Ladies, Drunks and Armchair Revolutionaries
Saturday, February 26: Though you may prefer to spend your Saturday nights at a Beer Palace, sequestered in darkness and glazed in booze, there’s nothing wrong with doing something a little bit different this Saturday. Like learning about vaginas, for charity! V-Day D.C. will be performing The Vagina Monologues Saturday at 3PM and again at [...]
Honor the Founding Fathers With Booze, Half-Smokes, and Chocolate
Thursday, February 17: Why should Valentine’s Day only be one day, when the holiday can bring joy/ money all month long? Now February is chocolate month, and this Thursday is “Chocolate Lover’s Day,” but at least it means free chocolate: Urbana, Firefly, and other Kimpton Hotels will be giving out complimentary chocolates and wine on [...]
Not Groundbreaking News: Americans Are Fat
Just eat less?: News alert: Because we are a nation of fat slobs, our government would like us to drink less sugar filled poison and stop eating spoonfuls of nitrates, lard and cat litter, even if it tastes good. Which in D.C. translates to, maybe only have bacon covered donuts once a month? The superb [...]
Winning the Future: Beer and Liquor Edition
Wednesday, January 26: SOTU hangover? You want more Facebook and salmon? Alcohol is known to breed innovation, so GET OUT OF YOUR HAMMOCK and start drinking. Try Recessions, where drinks are half off every week night from 5-8PM. And thanks to D.C.’s inability to handle snow, the government would like you to head there right now. [...]
A Booze-Filled Countdown To Jesus’s Birth
Thursday, December 16: Generation Obama-D.C. seems to have missed the part where Obama turned Republican and told his minions that he no longer loves them: At what could be the least merry holiday party EVER, they will be gathering to celebrate Progress (pass out resumes) at Hawk ‘n Dove on Thursday night from 6-9PM. $5. [...]
We’ll Wait For You, Obama (and Drink In the Meantime)
Wednesday, December 8: Obama loved the D.C. restaurant scene and would devour our rich-people hamburgers and gourmet junk food whenever he could. But just because the new Obama doesn’t want to have anything more to do with the silly intellectuals who came to D.C. for him and created a city in his image doesn’t mean [...]
Turns Out There Is Something Yuppies Won’t Overpay For: Cereal
Wednesday, December 1: Because last week an ancient ex-Nazi declared that condoms are kinda sorta okay, this could very well be the BEST World AIDS Day ever. Congratulate AIDS on another successful year of causing much death by attending a cocktail benefit for the Whitman-Walker Clinic at the wine bar Urbana. Admission is $10 and [...]
Pre-Turducken Activities
Thursday, November 18 through Sunday, November 21: Provided you survive your touchy-feely airport experience, a week from today you will be eating cranberries from a can and watching teevee footage of large floats wandering the streets of New York, to give thanks for smallpox blankets and other Important things. Prepare for the Fun that is [...]
Delis: Yes, D.C. Now Actually Has Some!
Hot Dogs: What’s the newest trend to come to D.C. that’s just as unhealthy as Slim Jims and Big Gulps, but that’s become gourmet-y and so acceptable? Hot dogs! There are now TWO, yes two, restaurants in D.C. that serve specialty hot dogs, and the newest one serves bacon wrapped all-beef hot dogs, deep fried [...]
Restoring America With Monosyllabic Restaurants
Friday, November 5: By December, hopefully, the country will have healed and Emo Obama will be willing to get up off the White House couch and go eat hamburgers somewhere so Washingtonians can gawk at him. Who knows. Either way, he and his family should be at the National Christmas Tree Lighting ceremony on December [...]
Upscale Dive Bars: This Would Be a Good Thing?
Pie: Recognizing that serving food out of an actual building gets you nowhere in D.C., Dangerously Delicious Pies will soon be serving their pies from the back of a moving vehicle. But should you be okay with eating pie under a roof, Monday-Thursday from 4PM-close, from their physical location on H Street NE, they offer [...]
Cocktail Parties For Both Hipsters & Breast Cancer
Wednesday, October 13: In October we celebrate America’s Favorite Cancer, and women everywhere are lining up for their pink ribbons, hoping that maybe one day they’ll conquer this disease, with ribbons. Bright Pink, a national organization that provides education and support to young women at high risk for breast and ovarian cancer, is hosting a [...]
Find Christine O’Donnell In Song
Wednesday, October 7: If you’re not doing anything tonight, Riley is insistent that you come to the Rock and Roll Hotel to watch him sing “I Touch Myself” while he waterboards his face with vodka and devours meatballs in honor of Delaware Masturbation Witch Christine O’Donnell. For charity of course!
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