pt first against the wall

FIRST AGAINST THE WALL  3:30 pm October 25, 2012

A List Of People Who Should Not Be Tried For Treason

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Today we learned that all reporters including Jerome Corsi should be executed for treason in honor of Free Speech Week, because Orwell. This led to discussion in the secret Wonket chatcave about trying for treason those who made the pickles on McDonald’s anusburgers too bland, but then we realized it would be much easier and [...]

FIRST AGAINST THE WALL  10:57 am July 9, 2012

Communism Invades Romney Rent Party As Very Important Lady Only As Important As All Others

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

It was a crushing moment, surely, a black hole of existential despair. How can you be a VIP when everyone is equally VI? What is this, communism? Did they not see her shiny Range Rover? Did they not see her shiny chiffon dress? Did they not hear the money in her voice? Did they not [...]

FIRST AGAINST THE WALL  4:50 pm January 15, 2009

Bill Kristol Gloats About How Much Obama Loves Him

by Jim Newell

Oh jesus christ, Bill fuckin’ Kristol, he’s now bragging about his sexy dinner with Obama and Peggy Noonan: “Yesterday, he met with the liberal columnists. And they had a pleasant hour in the conference room in his office. They got some coffee in some styrofoam cups. We had a pleasant dinner at George’s house, and [...]


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