May 19, 2013
pt email of the day
Every three years or so, “like clockwork,” your editor realizes he still works on the Internet because whatever Internet thing he edits must be forcefully updated to the Internet’s current technologies, which in three years’ time have usually gone so far beyond whatever publishing system of the past that there’s no longer anyone alive who [...]
A daily puzzle here at Wonkette’s World News Headquarters is trying to figure out what the hell people are going on about, in their emails to your editors, because it’s a rare occurrence when an angry reader who stumbled across some random three-year-old Wonkette post bothers to identify whatever post was so upsetting. The link [...]
Last week your Wonkette posted some news about racism in Tennessee, because it was so shocking and rare and etc. Racism, in the South?! Many days later, this post drained all the way to the Internet’s southern parts, where a proud local man discovered the item in question, maybe on his ex-wife’s cousin’s ‘puter. He [...]
Whoa hey when’s that Mayan Apocalypse thing, anyway? Is that what this nice lady is talking about? Because we’re pretty sure the election is in November, of this year, seven months from now. And if any Teabaggers magically win seats in Congress, they’ll be sworn in and just cold repealin’ everything to each other long [...]
It was only a matter of time (fifteen months?) before a teabagger found out about this vulgar website “on the Internet.” All of us, everyone, will remember forever where they were and what they were wearing when some dumb guy on Hotmail (?!) wrote to your Wonkette and delivered the killing blow: WHY DON’T U [...]
No time to waste! From: < ----------@gmail.com> To: email@example.com Date: Wed, Mar 3, 2010 at 12:25 AM Subject: Our friend, Rep. Steve King Dearest Wonkette, I wanted to alert you to a great injustice done to me – a citizen – while observing proceedings in the gallery of the People’s House this evening.
Here’s is a letter that was stuck to the side of the mailbag yesterday and has remained tragically unread, until now. It is signed “A Concerned Citizen” and its seriousness literally cannot be overstated. from: [redacted]@verizon.net to: firstname.lastname@example.org date: Wed, Feb 10, 2010 at 6:08 PM subject: Re: Gore’s Igloo…
Our favorite-ever letter-writer “Bob” is back, with an email once again expressing his displeasure with our “paper.” But maybe he is confused? Or maybe he just HATES OUR NATION. As we’ve seen with these shocking new surveys of Republican Opinion, “patriotism” these days just means “I hate America so much I want to secede to [...]
Someone was not pleased with our treatment of Mike Huckabee, recently! Especially YOUR treatment, anonymous commenters. You are infidels, against Jesus and Allah.
This *might* be a first, in which someone wins “Email of the Day” as an award, not a punishment: From: Brian S. To: email@example.com Date: Thu, Sep 17, 2009 at 7:49 PM Subject: wold blitzer is an idiot wolf blitzer is on jeporady right now and is getting stomped. he is a MORAN. here is [...]
From: firstname.lastname@example.org To: “email@example.com” Date: Thu, Sep 10, 2009 at 4:00 PM Subject: Fuck all You Asshole at Fox You mutherfuckers are something else, I hope your organization crumbles. Your a racist organization, and if you work for Fox Then Fuck you & your family
How do we know for sure that the secret third half of the Lucianne/Jonah Goldberg conspiracy is not actually K-Lo? Because Joshua actually wrote to Wonkette on Friday night, when we all know perfectly well that Fridays are Jonah and K-Lo’s “Moral Netflix & Fish Sticks Night.”
Most of the publicity pitches your Wonkette receives during the workday are for relatively innocuous, easygoing things. “Hey Wonkette me & my buddy Dave just made a hilarious video in our dorm room that your readers would love,” the average one reads. “We dress up in saran wrap & overalls and smash a model town [...]
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