Tag Archives: pt eat the rich

  eat the rich

Hero Hilton Heir Is Emperor Of All He Surveys, Also: Arrested

He looks like this probably
Terrible news on the social justice front: A young man was arrested and shackled just for exercising his First Amendment rights to free speech. Sort of: Paris Hilton’s younger brother Conrad has appeared in court after allegedly becoming enraged on a British Airways flight from London to Los Angeles, calling passengers “peasants” and making children cry. […] Read more on Hero Hilton Heir Is Emperor Of All He Surveys, Also: Arrested…
  eat the rich

Rich People Tired Of Living In Giant Mansions, Long For Merely Huge Mansions

They don't make butlers like Carson anymore.
Claudio Stivelman is a real estate developer whose corporate biography modestly alludes to his “prophetic vision to invest along the Northern coast of Miami-Dade County.” He got stupid-rich and built himself an “11,000-square-foot dream house,” only to find that living in a house with six bedrooms and a movie theater ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. The Wall Street Journal’s Candace Jackson — who may have responded to a job posting our new Jr. Editrix wrote about last year — gives us a glimpse into the Lifestyles of the Obscenely Wealthy and Modestly Famous. Read more on Rich People Tired Of Living In Giant Mansions, Long For Merely Huge Mansions…
  eat the rich

Class War Has A Fresh New Face: Chelsea Clinton And Her $10.5 Million NYC Pad

We have spent some time during this journey through our worldly vale of tears defending the gargantuan mansions of both Albert Gore and Husband of the Millennium John Edwards. You know, stuff like, “Hey, John Edwards made those kajillions helping people get justice and also eat shit Tucker Carlson just on principle” and “Al Gore can do whatever the fuck he wants for the rest of his blessed life, because we owe him one for voting for Nader.” But Chelsea Clinton, although a lovely young woman, has yet to impress us with anything she has brought to this world. She is arguably less good at her “job” than JC Penneys Boys Department Catalogue Model Luke Russert, if also less visibly pleased with herself about her complete lack of charisma and talent. Therefore, we are not inclined to apologize for her coming purchase of a $10.5 million, 5,000-square-foot NYC pad overlooking Madison Square Park. Five and a half bathrooms, for a childless couple in their 30s, is fucking unseemly, Chelsea and whoever your husband is. Readers, let us get our knives and forks at the ready, for the ritual Eating of the Rich, after the jump! Read more on Class War Has A Fresh New Face: Chelsea Clinton And Her $10.5 Million NYC Pad…
  eat the rich

What Else Should Be On New York Restaurant’s $2000 Plate Of Pasta?

Rupert Murdoch’s New York Post brings us news of the beginning of the French Revolution the War of Poor Aggression. A high-end Midtown restaurant is serving up the city’s priciest plate of pasta — a $2,000 dish of homemade tagliolini complete with fresh lobster and black truffles and served on a gold-leaf platter designed by late fashion icon Gianni Versace. Bice Restaurant, at 7 E. 54th St., is charging an arm and a leg of lamb for the dish, part of a four-course meal and wine to celebrate its 25th anniversary. The $2,013 dish features two pounds of wild-caught lobster and sauteed organic vegetables. Well, that sounds fucking lame. Truffles? Veg? Lobster? Pshaw. Wonkers, we can do better. Read more on What Else Should Be On New York Restaurant’s $2000 Plate Of Pasta?…
  eat the rich

World’s Worst Woman And World’s Richest Woman Are Coincidentally Very Same Person

The Los Angeles Times brings us this important story of a very nice lady — the world’s wealthiest! — explaining to poor people to shut up and eat their fucking gruel: Just in case you were beginning to think rich people were deeply misunderstood and that they feel the pain of those who are less fortunate, here’s the world’s wealthiest woman, Australian mining tycoon Gina Rinehart, with some helpful advice. “If you’re jealous of those with more money, don’t just sit there and complain,” she said in a magazine piece. “Do something to make more money yourself — spend less time drinking or smoking and socialising, and more time working.” But wait, because it gets better! (Of course it does.) Read more on World’s Worst Woman And World’s Richest Woman Are Coincidentally Very Same Person…
  eat the rich

Pasties Take A Licking From UK Parliament

The Land of Newz is all aflutter this morning about the UK’s plunge into a double-dip recession that is the worst since 1975. What is the esteemed Members of Parliament’s solution, in line with their super successful austerity plan? A 20 percent tax on hot pasties, of course. No tax on cold pasties, though. So, phew. STAND DOWN! While London Bridge is falling down, MPs think it’s extremely important to spend their precious time interrogating each other as to the last time they’d eaten a hot pasty or bragging about how tasty was their latest pasty. Meanwhile, enraged Master Bakers and Pasty Makers, gathering at Pudding Lane, will finish their anti-tax protest march today on the steps of Whitehall, hoping that “politicians will be lured by the taste of an authentic Cornish pasty” enough to give pasty pounding peasants a little tax break. As mutton grease dribbles down the triple chins of pasty-patronizing Parliament, and housepersons all over the land are whinging to their neighbors about the pasty outrage, bankers and corporate moguls are laughing their asses off, sipping French champagne and nibbling their tax-free caviar. Why? Because 2011 bank bonuses in the UK were in the billions, the UK’s corporate profitability bounce back in 2010 and 2011 was extraordinary… and globally, “2011 was a banner year for luxury brands, some had more sales and profits than 2007, just before the global financial crisis.” OK, so there was a little slump, which caused some poor jetsetters to suffer: “Now, instead of buying three or four handbags, they might buy one for two-thirds of the value of all four put together.” Read more on Pasties Take A Licking From UK Parliament…
  eat the rich

Food For The Wealthy And Maybe The Rest of Us

Wednesday, September 2: Soon it will be freezing, and you will be complaining about how summer is gone and how the cold came too soon, so you might as well enjoy the last days of summer sun with an outdoor happy hour. Public Bar, though filled with popped collar, sporty, we-won’t-go-there types on weekends, is a positivity lovely spot for a weeknight happy hour, especially because it goes until 8PM. [Public Bar] Read more on Food For The Wealthy And Maybe The Rest of Us… Read more on Food For The Wealthy And Maybe The Rest of Us…
  eat the rich

Google Fat Cats Make Millions While Nation Suffers

Goddammit are rich people still getting rich these days? Observe: Google’s top four executives received million-dollar-plus bonuses last year — a truly repulsive amount when everybody else in the country is starving. Wait, what’s that you say? They haven’t asked for a bailout yet? WELL BUT STILL. [AP] Read more on Google Fat Cats Make Millions While Nation Suffers…