For weeks John McCain has been saying, “Barack Obama is a pansy the end,” and Barack Obama has been saying, “That’s not very dignified of you,” and so now of course Barack Obama is losing the RACE FOR THE WHITE HOUSE. How can he turn it around and win this thing? By making Hillary Clinton his vice president, which will be fantastic and hilarious because they hate each other so much. MORE »

Next week Hillary Clinton will be campaigning with Barack Obama, which means only one thing: the former candidate and the current candidate are totally in cahoots and having phone sex all the time to discuss how they can break the hearts of millions of Obamatards across the nation by making Clinton Obama’s running “mate.” MORE »