Did you dress as Professor Dumbledore or a sneering Bank Goblin for yesterday’s midnight release party of the “new” Ted Kennedy memoir? What? You went as Gandalf? HE’S NOT EVEN *IN* THIS BOOK YOU IDIOT. But yes: Ted Kennedy’s new book is out today, and every journalist and blogger is reading it in bed, looking for the hottest blockquotes. The best excerpt we’ve seen thus far is one involving Sen. Robert Byrd, who was invited, along with Kennedy and other powerful humans, to the White House early on in Clinton’s presidency for their first meeting about gays in the military. Robert Byrd had concerns, but only because he thought they were discussing whether blacks should be allowed in the military. No no no, that wasn’t why. It had something to do with… rape, in Ancient Rome? MORE »

Every Democratic candidate for president likes to say they’ll be a champion of the gay community and will offer them free dental dams on Fridays plus a full repeal of the dumb “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy plus mandatory gay marriage and so on. And President Obama has so far sucked in that regard, because he has been so distracted with the economy and healthcare and “other things,” such as North Korea and Iraq. MORE »

John McCain works every day with the only things he loves: domestic terrorists, Idaho bathroom goblins, KKK racists, child fuckers, international terrorists, oil companies, abortions, Mexicans, Saddam Hussein, etc. Quickly email this to everyone, using an AOL or Hotmail account, and add some ALL CAPS. [Reason]

All 14th anniversaries deserve extra special festivities, and the Human Rights Campaign is celebrating the big 1-4 of the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy for gay soldiers by… asking if candidates will get rid of it! All this week, the organization has been queerying each Democratic candidate, “If you are elected President, what concrete steps would you take to overturn ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell?’” Hillary Rodham Clinton, perhaps swayed by her platonic lover Keith Kerr, responded that she will bring her “strength and experience to bear to end this outdated and outmoded policy.” But your husband the President Bill made that policy! Clinton must obey Clinton or all Clintons fail! MORE »

Mean people in Congress totally made Condoleezza Rice interrupt her usual routine by making her sit down and answer a bunch of boring questions about, you know, Iraqi government corruption, murderous Blackwater mercenaries, and a bunch of other stuff that she doesn’t know anything about. Ooooh… why does Waxman keep pestering Condi?

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Little fuss??? It’s apparently transformed their army into a bunch of butch dykes and bizarrely anachronistic Edwardian fops! MORE »

When we last cared about Gary Ackerman, he was accidentally voting against pornography. Yesterday, though, he planted himself firmly on the side of the steamy and unlikely fantasies of teenage boys. MORE »