Gay-for-each-other fecal demons Joe Lieberman and Lindsey Graham are being suuuuuuchhh baaaaabieeesss now that the few decent law-abiding and moral Democrats in the House have promised not to approve any spending bill that would send the sneaky Lieberman-Graham Amendment to the White House, which of course loves it. If you haven’t been following, the “Detainee Photographic Records Protection Act of 2009″ amendment allows the president to legally ignore any court-mandated Freedom of Information Act release of “any photograph that was taken between September 11, 2001 and January 22, 2009 relating to the treatment of individuals engaged, captured, or detained after September 11, 2001, by the Armed Forces of the United States in operations outside of the United States.” NO BUT REALLY. And now Lindsey Graham and Joe Lieberman are threatening to shut the Senate down until this comically fascistic fart-nugget of an amendment saves America. MORE »

Rep. Michele Bachmann has sump’m to say, she does! She wants everyone to get a gun and go kill the Democrats and establish a new government, because of some tax: “I want people in Minnesota armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax because we need to fight back. Thomas Jefferson told us ‘having a revolution every now and then is a good thing,’ and the people — we the people — are going to have to fight back hard if we’re not going to lose our country. And I think this has the potential of changing the dynamic of freedom forever in the United States.” How very inappropriate! [Huffington Post]

• MARK SANFORD REJECTED AGAIN: Skinny communist blog hipster Peter Orszag has rejected South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford’s request to use his stimulus money to pay down state debt, because of the lack of stimulus. This is the second time Orszag has had to tell this nut to go away, and now Mark Sanford will be the Republican nominee in 2012, assuming the country exists. [AP]

Lanny Davis was famous in 2008 for going on the teevee to defend his friends and clients, The Clintons, from the biases of the O-BOTS, and making a fool of himself. Once fired, he would go on Huffington Post or The Hill or Politico and write a column about how Obama was shameful and deserved no delegates because of Common Law. SO WHAT’S HE DOIN’ NOW? Oh just writing hilarious glowing reviews of his son’s book about basketball. It’s part of the Larry Bird-Magic Johnson-rivalry-as-culture-war athletic nonfiction subgenre that examines how white people hate black people and vice versa. MORE »

• NOT BLUNT ENOUGH! Ha ha, Republican legislators aren’t even pretending to work on policy anymore — they are running around with megaphones just yelling about 2010, if this quote from Rep. Patrick McHenry is any indication, which it is: “We will lose on legislation. But we will win the message war every day, and every week, until November 2010… Our goal is to bring down approval numbers for [Speaker Nancy] Pelosi and for House Democrats. That will take repetition. This is a marathon, not a sprint.” Wow, this is simple enough that we won’t even need Politico to tell us what it means! (Although they will anyway, in a top five list.) It is interesting, though, that people like Patrick McHenry assume there will be a basic government or social order in 2010. [Greg Sargent]

Gather round, ducklings, for David Brooks would like to commence his Tuesday lesson: “When I was a freshman in college, I was assigned ‘Reflections on the Revolution in France’ by Edmund Burke. I loathed the book.” You’ll never believe this, but later in life, he grew to like the book. This bears all the trappings of a trenchant political column. MORE »

Here’s one of the more unlikable people we’ve heard of for the first time today, CNBC’s Rick Santelli, at some trading floor in Chicago, going *apeshit* over Barack Obama’s $75 billion mortgage plan to keep “the losers” in their homes. Maybe Obama’s plan isn’t so great, who knows, but one thing is clear, and that’s that Rick Santelli hates poor people — and by poor people we mean the bottom 50-90% of per capita income earners. How else would you explain the fact that he and his trader friends are *just now* starting to worry about Moral Hazard? [Calculated Risk]

While we haven’t yet turned on CNN to hear the Best Political Team On Earth tell us what we think about the politics of what we think about Sen. Judd Gregg’s decision to withdrawn his Commerce Secretary nomination, we think he’s coming off like an idiot. Other people who think Judd Gregg is coming off like an idiot include Robert Gibbs, and Judd Gregg. MORE »

Politics magazine will release the results of their “2008 campaign poll of political insiders” this Thursday, but we already know the winner of one category: best ad of the presidential race. It is Hillary Clinton’s “3 a.m.” ad, the one about how Hillary Clinton was the only person who could answer a telephone at night without getting us all killed, or raped. Mark Penn was the “thrust” behind this successful ad, which you may have read about in any column Mark Penn has written since then. Hell, Mark Penn’s company even conducted this Politics poll, ha ha! No, seriously, that’s actually true. We can’t wait to see the winners of other categories, such as Best Thing Written (Microtrends), Worst Thorn In One’s Side (Harold Ickes/Patti Solis Doyle tie) and Best Floating Film Script In Hollywood (Microtrends Part I: Pages 1-74). [WP/The Fix]

Here’s video of the Democrats and their evil moderate Republican boyfriend seizing power from the wingnuts yesterday. Look at poor “Jason Mumpower” sob all over his family Bible and laugh, meanly. [Balloon Juice]

Hey if any of you far-away losers want to visit Washington D.C. on “vacation” soon, to teach your brat kids about America, now’s the grandest time of all! Because thanks to your $621 million in appropriated taxpayer funds — yes that’s right, 6, 2, and 1, glued together, a million of them, in dollars — a fancy new UNDERGROUND VISITOR CENTER at the U.S. Capitol finally opened on Tuesday. It is underground so you don’t get too cold or hot — depending on the season! — as your fat ass waits in line for a tour. One Senator, the very conservative Jim DeMint of South Carolina, despises this new visitor center — but not because of its completely inappropriate cost, of course! No, he’s just concerned that the center’s exhibits don’t praise God quite enough, and that the exhibits themselves are “left-leaning,” which is common D.C. slang for “gay.” MORE »