pt dinguses

It’s 2010′s “Macaca Moment,” in which the insane Tennessee monster Harold Ford Junior calls Kirsten Gillibrand a “parakeet,” an East Indian slur against white women and how they have vaginas. Kirsten Gillibrand “fired back on Twitter,” wanting alllll of New York to know that she will not suffer this puerile attack on women!

According to True Democracy, it is good for politicians to remake their positions according to the political will of the body they’re representing. (Maybe! PoliSci 101 was just boring enough for us to drop the shit out of it and read poetry for four years instead. American Politics is easy enough to figure out by […]

Good lord. Senator Ben “Wario” Nelson has introduced the “United States War Bonds Act of 2009″ this afternoon, “which would authorize the Treasury Department to begin selling bonds to fund the wars.” But this is superfluous, because we already have such bonds: they are called United States Treasury Bonds, which we use to finance any […]

We didn’t really bother writing about the case of Bill Sparkman, the brutally murdered census worker in Kentucky who was found with “FED” carved into his chest, because the narrative was too boring and predictable: liberals would immediately type about how this murder was yet again the fault of Glenn Beck and Bill O’Reilly for […]

DINGUSES  11:35 am September 21, 2009

by Jim Newell

JOHN EDWARDS WANTED HIS WIFE TO DIE CONSTANTLY: The New York Times obliterated John Edwards this weekend, with its report about how he’s preparing to FINALLY be like, “yeah that’s mah baby.” Most terrifying part: “In the [book] proposal, which The New York Times examined, [former aide Andrew] Young says that he assisted the affair […]

Sorry but this might be a “LOCALS ONLY” post and the rest of you are just going to have to deal with that, okay? Okay. PSST, HUMANS IN WASHINGTON: our local professional sports team, the Redskins, who play in Maryland, is the worst organization on Earth!

DINGUSES  3:34 pm August 21, 2009

by Jim Newell

L.A. TIMES TEEVEE LISTINGS COPY EDITOR TO BE ‘WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD’ EVERY NIGHT FOR THE NEXT YEAR: A correction from the print edition of today’s Los Angeles Times: “FOR THE RECORD: TV listings: The Prime-Time TV grid in Thursday’s Calendar section mistakenly listed MTV’s ‘Jackass’ show on the MSNBC cable schedule at 7 […]

United States Senator Ben Cardin of Maryland has a nephew in politics! You knew this. But did you know that said nephew, state delegate Jon Cardin, is a tacky dingbat who should probably resign after diverting scarce police resources from MURDER INVESTIGATIONS to his dumb boat for the purpose of scaring his girlfriend into marrying […]

A number of understandably perplexed readers have forwarded us this weird, offensive e-mail from the notorious spammer “Mitch Stewart, BarackObama.com,” who wants us to donate money to the DNC — one dollar a day “until real health insurance reform is signed into law,” so as to “show the insurance companies and their allies in Congress […]

Well hats off to Senator Byron Dorgan, who read about the Treasury’s proposed “Humor In The Workplace” presentations for Bureau of the Public Debt employees, called the Department to complain, issued a few grandstanding words about Wasting Taxpayers’ Money, and got the events canceled. Good for you, asshole. Two 3-hour presentations from a fun clown […]

Gay-for-each-other fecal demons Joe Lieberman and Lindsey Graham are being suuuuuuchhh baaaaabieeesss now that the few decent law-abiding and moral Democrats in the House have promised not to approve any spending bill that would send the sneaky Lieberman-Graham Amendment to the White House, which of course loves it. If you haven’t been following, the “Detainee […]

DINGUSES  2:43 pm March 20, 2009

by Jim Newell

MARK SANFORD REJECTED AGAIN: Skinny communist blog hipster Peter Orszag has rejected South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford’s request to use his stimulus money to pay down state debt, because of the lack of stimulus. This is the second time Orszag has had to tell this nut to go away, and now Mark Sanford will be […]

DINGUSES  3:29 pm March 9, 2009

by Jim Newell

NOT BLUNT ENOUGH! Ha ha, Republican legislators aren’t even pretending to work on policy anymore — they are running around with megaphones just yelling about 2010, if this quote from Rep. Patrick McHenry is any indication, which it is: “We will lose on legislation. But we will win the message war every day, and every […]

Here’s one of the more unlikable people we’ve heard of for the first time today, CNBC’s Rick Santelli, at some trading floor in Chicago, going *apeshit* over Barack Obama’s $75 billion mortgage plan to keep “the losers” in their homes. Maybe Obama’s plan isn’t so great, who knows, but one thing is clear, and that’s […]

While we haven’t yet turned on CNN to hear the Best Political Team On Earth tell us what we think about the politics of what we think about Sen. Judd Gregg’s decision to withdrawn his Commerce Secretary nomination, we think he’s coming off like an idiot. Other people who think Judd Gregg is coming off […]