Now that the legislative and executive branches of our government have negotiated a bailout compromise without John McCain flying in to spit and throw chairs and poop at people for 20 minutes, uh, what’s a Walnut to do hmm? He’ll probably fly down to Oxford town for the debate and look like a temperamental anger demon whose bullshit stunts have failed for the 400th time. But! He could also maybe light the current bipartisan compromise on fire and order everyone to draft a new one, so he’d miss the debate. In that case, Obama has a plan, because who cares whether or not this old douchecock shows up? MORE »