Tag Archives: pt death

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Other Public Option Dies, Too!

Our dear friends in the Senate Finance Committee have voted down the Schumer/Cantwell “less cool but still cool” public option amendment as well, 13-10 (Dems voting no: Baucus, Conrad, Lincoln), so there will officially (we think?) not be a public option in the Senate Finance Committee bill. SURPRISE. Read more on Other Public Option Dies, Too!…
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FINE, ‘ANY CONSPIRACY GOES’ COMMENTER IS BANNED: The commenter “nader paul kucinich gravel,” who likes all half-fringe politicians, right or left, has been banned. We thought it was funny (maybe six months ago) that all of his/her comments were shaped into little pyramids! Oh, well. Read more on …
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A Children’s Treasury Of Government-Solicited YouTubes About The Flu

Back in May or February or some other month, the world went nuts over a bunch of Mexicans giving everyone flu, from pigs, in an attempt to take over the world. But when Americans actually got this flu, they did not find it much worse than “regular American flu,” which only kills old people, gremlins, and dragons. This false alarm did not stop the government, a.k.a. “that Sebelius lady,” from launching a YouTube contest in JULY to “create a 15, 30, or 60 second video Public Service Announcement (PSA) that will inform and motivate people to take steps that will help prevent the spread of the flu.” That means any flu! The submission period ends tonight at midnight, and the winner will receive $2,500 while his or her winning video will “be featured on broadcast TV and on government Web sites.” Your Wonkette has viewed all 155 submissions (read: like six or seven), and… uh… you’re in a bit of a bind, Sebelius. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Government-Solicited YouTubes About The Flu…
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Raccoons Attack Barack Obama

In a stunning display of Republican racism, a band of devilish raccoons has invaded the White House grounds with a list of immediate demands, including War in Iran. If bitten by a raccoon, Barack Obama could suffer what Beltway Insiders are calling his most devastating setback in what has already been a catastrophic presidency: rabies. Read more on Raccoons Attack Barack Obama…
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WE HEAR TACO BELL IS HIRING??: More lovely news from the American automotive industry, formerly a shining light of this rich nation’s manufacturing sector, and now simply a bunch of commies: “NEW YORK – General Motors Corp. will offer buyouts to all of its hourly employees, a spokesman confirmed Tuesday, as the troubled automaker continues to slash costs… A union official told The Associated Press then that GM would offer $20,000 in cash and a $25,000 car voucher for workers who retire early and those who simply leave the company.” Oooh, we’d take that. $25,000 cars! You can just drive around forever in one of those things. [AP] Read more on …
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This Bull Will Be Slaughtered, In Kenya, If Obama Wins

Barack Obama’s “ancestors” in the quaint town of Kogelo, Kenya, deign to slaughter this beast if their favorite Luo Tribesman wins the U.S. presidential election. Now that the Bitters have more or less finished voting, everyone forward this post to every Bitter you know, along with scary comments like “THEY’RE COMING FOR YOU NEXT, BUBBA.” It will scare the shit out of them, ha ha. Do it. [CNN] Read more on This Bull Will Be Slaughtered, In Kenya, If Obama Wins…
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WE’VE GOT AN OVER-UNDER: Ha ha ha, Joe Lieberman tells a crowd that John McCain will die when he is 85 years old. Thanks, Joe, we’ll put that right on the calendar. [Huffington Post] Read more on …
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GO GET YOUR MONEY PEOPLE: Collapsing investment banks are yesterday’s news, trendsetters! Now we can turn our attention to the biggest possible commercial banks failing miserably, like, say, Washington Mutual. And when that collapses on Sunday, probably, it will likely drain up what’s left of the FDIC’s insurance fund. The FDIC can always get more money from the Treasury, or we can just have a BANK RUN!!! EVERYONE RUN TO THE BANK!!! PANIC! CHAOS FIRE OBAMA BURN!! [AP] Read more on …