Tag Archives: pt daily briefing

  daily briefing

I’ve Been Crushed By the Tumbling Tide (TIME!)

Barack Obama went to Taxachusetts to ask the voters to remember that they’re mostly liberal people, so maybe they might want to show up and vote. But maybe they don’t care anyway because MITT ROMNEY gave them socialist health insurance already. [VOA] Read more on I’ve Been Crushed By the Tumbling Tide (TIME!)…
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Everyone Do Some Celebratory ‘Stoner Culture Thing’ In Honor Of New Jersey!

Medical marijuana is now legal in the nearby state of New Jersey! This is a thing MTV orchestrated, for its popular Jersey Shore documentary series. [New York Times] Miep Gies, the very nice Dutch lady who hid Anne Frank and her family from the cast of Jersey Shore, has died at 100. [Washington Post] Read more on Everyone Do Some Celebratory ‘Stoner Culture Thing’ In Honor Of New Jersey!…
  daily briefing

Imagine Reading This Daily Briefing While Driving To Work, On Public Roads!

A good place for the Internet to go is the dashboard of moving cars. This is just science! [New York Times] Failed Nigerian Terrorist was formally charged with failing to blow up an airplane—or “attempted murder,” in legalese. [Wall Street Journal] Read more on Imagine Reading This Daily Briefing While Driving To Work, On Public Roads!…
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Bis ans Ende der Welt

Nobody blew up Times Square with their underwear so w00t!1! [New York Times] U.S. stock markets dropped by a percent or so in the last minutes of trading on the last trading day of the year, because We Are All Screwed. [Marketwatch] Read more on Bis ans Ende der Welt…
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Making Sure A Plane Bomber Will Never Not Actually Bomb A Plane Again

The Department of Homeland Security will begin smuggling more plainclothes air marshals on planes, most likely by just putting them in a regular Advil bottle. [New York Times] Regarding the aspirational terror act, Obama, from Hawaii, has finally issued important threats about Investigating Things.  [POLITICO] Read more on Making Sure A Plane Bomber Will Never Not Actually Bomb A Plane Again…
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And May All Your Christmases Be White Trash

Levi Johnston’s OxyContin-dealing mom is back home and under house arrest. It’s a Festivus Miracle! [Anchorage Daily News] Some disabled guy called “Gator” pushed an empty wheelchair into a post office in some Virginia hillbilly town, shot a gun at nothing, and held a couple people hostage for nine hours. He asked for pizza, then gave up. And so would’ve Dickens, if this was the material he had to work with …. [CNN/WDBJ] Read more on And May All Your Christmases Be White Trash…
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The Twitter Industry, Comprised Solely Of Website Twitter.com, Saves American Economy Forever

America’s economy has expanded for the first time in four quarters, presumably by exchanging the four quarters in for a dollar. [AP] An online anthology of song lyrics that do not quite merit away message status—”Twitter”—is America’s only successful business. [Reuters] Read more on The Twitter Industry, Comprised Solely Of Website Twitter.com, Saves American Economy Forever…
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China Holds Up Climate Change Negotiations; Earth Literally Burns

Afghan President Hamid Karzai is furious on the outside, feelings-hurt on the inside that the US and the UN considered just cold replacing him with someone else during the fraudulent election of his own design a few months back. [New York Times] Read more on China Holds Up Climate Change Negotiations; Earth Literally Burns…
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Obama Accepts His Peace Prize, Which Is A Thing People Have Serious Opinions About!

The President of the United States went to Norway to accept his Nobel Peace Prize. This is the most controversial thing that has ever happened. [New York Times] Meet our nation’s next hated thing: it is “Ginnie Mae,” the absolutely terrifying-sounding Government National Mortgage Association. [Washington Post] Read more on Obama Accepts His Peace Prize, Which Is A Thing People Have Serious Opinions About!…
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Everyone Is Mad At America, But America Is Mad At Everyone Too!

America is very serious capital S serious about the Pakistanis doing away with all of Pakistan’s Taliban. [New York Times] Obama’s new thing is going to be unemployment. This, in fact, is many people’s new thing. [Washington Post] Read more on Everyone Is Mad At America, But America Is Mad At Everyone Too!…
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Christmas Card From a Hooker In Minneapolis

Sarah Palin is now a birther! Her make-believe campaign against Barack Obama will now focus on his Kenyan-Communist Birth Certificate, because Andrew Sullivan wants to see Trig’s paperwork. [Ben Smith] White House dinner crasher/perpetual bore Michaele Salahi also pretended to be a … hang on, looking it up again … yes, a retired Washington Redskins cheerleader. [Washington Post] Read more on Christmas Card From a Hooker In Minneapolis…
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The Wind It Was Howlin’ and the Snow Was Outrageous

Obama announced the new U.S. plan for Afghanistan — a 30,000-troop surge on the, er, way out of the country — and 30,000 little Thomas Friedmans itchily critiqued the plan, on the Internet. [CNN/Washington Post/BBC/Tom Friedman] Read more on The Wind It Was Howlin’ and the Snow Was Outrageous…
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But There’s No Danger, It’s a Professional Career

Barack Obama is finally going to announce his sexy war decision everybody knows about: He will send 35,000 vampires and werewolves to Afghanistan, because there are no actual human U.S. troops to send anywhere. [BBC] Read more on But There’s No Danger, It’s a Professional Career…
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The Telex Machine Is Kept So Clean, and It Types To a Waiting World

Four police officers in Washington state were gunned down in a coffee shop by some psychopath. [Seattle P-I] The “person of interest” is a child-raping monster who got out of prison in Arkansas thanks to then-Gov. Mike Huckabee, so probably it’s goodbye to Mike Huckabee as a 2012 candidate, and there’s your “politics angle” for this awful story. [Arkansas Times] Read more on The Telex Machine Is Kept So Clean, and It Types To a Waiting World…
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Thank You, Friends, Wouldn’t Be Here If It Wasn’t for You

The Obama Thanksgiving menu featured turkey and pie — or, even scarier, some kind of Kenyan-socialist hybrid pumpkin pie made of turkey. “The President’s favorite is turkey and pumpkin pie,” the White House said in a statement. Gross. [Chicago Sun-Times] Read more on Thank You, Friends, Wouldn’t Be Here If It Wasn’t for You…
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Something Flickered For a Minute, Then It Vanished and Was Gone

Happy Thanksgiving? Not for the Indians, who are anti-celebrating the Mumbai terrorist attacks of one year ago. [BBC] Most people try to sneak out of White House state dinners, but these two weirdos snuck in. [Reliable Source/NYT] Read more on Something Flickered For a Minute, Then It Vanished and Was Gone…
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Obama Simply Does Not Care For The More Popular Plans Re: Afghanistan

Obama will send 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan, which is a popular idea with absolutely no one besides Barack Obama. [New York Times] Full “first state dinner coverage” at the Washington Post! The piece contains no fewer than two (2) Sorkin references and descriptions of at least ten (10) fancy-sounding things. [Washington Post] Read more on Obama Simply Does Not Care For The More Popular Plans Re: Afghanistan…
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Conservatives Team Up With ACLU To Take On ‘Big Supreme Court’

Not content with hating, on principle, the executive and legislative branches of government, conservatives now find America’s court system not to their taste either really. [New York Times] Some environmental people do not despise nuclear energy anymore mostly because the technology has gotten a lot safer and partly because at this point what choice do they have? [Washington Post] Read more on Conservatives Team Up With ACLU To Take On ‘Big Supreme Court’…